Jack Harlow’s fingernails have a fan account.
I know you have a lot of questions. We’ll get into the “why” later.
What you need to know now is that Jack Harlow’s fingernails have a fan account, and when Harlow announced today that his newest single — dropping this Friday — was going to be called “Nail Tech,” that fan account had an (understandable) meltdown.
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If you think that caption was over the top… well, that’s kind of @jackharlowsfingernails’ vibe.
Now, there’s a 98% chance that Jack Harlow is naming his new single “Nail Tech” for any other reason besides wanting to please an account with 896 followers dedicated to salivating over his cuticles. I mean, Harlow has a lot pulling for his attention right now: Ever since the success of 2020’s That’s What They All Say, the Louisville-native rapper has been going nonstop, gaining a No.1 hit in “Industry Baby” and touring all over the country. He’s been talking about a new album for a while now — saying that it will be “more expensive” than his previous work.
The cover for the new single also does not scream Anything-For-My-Favorite-Nail-Fetishist: It depicts a group of young, hot people, squaring off in a backyard football game.
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And yet, here’s what @jackharlowsfingernails posted three days ago, after Harlow first hinted on his Instagram that a new single was imminent. (Read that last line.)
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Really makes you think…
…Oh, and I know we told you we’d explain to you why Jack Harlow has a nail fan account, but we really don’t know. But, you should follow it if you want more lines like: “sometimes a bitch just gotta sit and marinate in her unwavering adoration for this perfect, delicious man and his suckable fingers.”
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