Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu delivered a controversial address to the United States Congress this week on behalf of the world’s approximately 14 million Jews. State officials now indicate that the US should have seen Netanyahu’s self-extended invitation coming. Newly released documents from the State Department reveal that Netanyahu has been a habitual self-inviter and invitee for most of his life.
While this most recent self-invite played out in a very public way, apparently the plotting began years ago, when Netanyahu took note of the now infamous Salahis as they crashed the White House State dinner. A source close to the Prime Minister’s administration told us that Bibi realized he could come in and out of the top levels of American government whenever he wanted — and whenever it was most beneficial to him.
The source continued to explain however, that once John Boehner became Speaker of the House, he could use much more traditional methods of inviting himself, like offering to bring lots and lots of gifts. The speaker’s office admitted that they negotiated hard with Netanyahu over the terms of an invitation to address Congress. A spokesperson for the speaker said that there had to be guarantees of major donations to his caucus … and a basket of Ahava Dead Sea skincare products.
This discovery prompted an investigation into Bibi’s life before politics, which has been one of constant self-inviting.
Starting in the fourth grade, at age the age of 10, class acquaintances of Netanyahu’s said that he consistently showed up at other kids’ birthday parties. Abe Bowman, a classmate of Bibi’s, said, “He showed up at my laser tag party totally uninvited. We weren’t even friends and here he is inviting himself to my birthday party.” Bowman also indicated that he helped himself to as much cake as he desired. “He actually ate all four corner pieces of the cake. Didn’t even make symmetric cuts out of it either … just cut the corners off in one diagonal slice.”
While Bowman said he cannot recall Bibi bringing anything to the party, he did say that Ahava makes some pretty fantastic lotions and bath salts, so he understands Boehner’s acquiescence.
