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I have had cis-gender gay/straight friends tell me they think a trans person is hot/attractive. They also say they’d like to ask the person out on a date. Catch is, the friends don’t know the person they’re crushing on is trans, but I do. Do I tell them? Do I let it unfold with the universe? I guess my fear is that I’m putting the trans person in danger, but I also don’t want to out them.
Hi Cis Ally,
Any time we have to be taught anything about respecting the humanity of a marginalized community, we are learning at the expense of that community, and we need to make sure we implement what we’ve been taught, because the price paid was exceptionally high. There have been times over the last five years that I was surprised to discover ways that my thinking or behavior was transphobic or exclusionary, and, like so many of us, I just needed to learn a different way of thinking about myself and the rights of others to simply exist. I’m glad that you wrote in and are willing to be vulnerable. A lot of people will benefit from the answer to this question.