Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best & Most Absurd

Dec 19, 2018 at 10:40 am

You can run Matt, but not hide  |  Thorn

Gov. Matt Griswold Bevin found out last week that multiple Pulitzer Prize-winning ProPublica is teaming with the Courier Journal to investigate “a state program.” No word from the CJ about which program, but the announcement pushed Matt into an online tirade. “This is why so many people in Kentucky no longer give you the time of day. It’s why I encourage to just disregard the nonsense that comes out of this biased, left-wing organization,” he said. In a tweet, ProPublica’s editor wondered what Matt will do when a story runs, if just the announcement “stirs up this kind of hysteria.”

Matt has been mar-buried  |  Rose 

Certainly some of Bevin’s reason for calling a special session on the pension is his humiliating (7-0)defeat on the issue at the state Supreme Court (“an unprecedented power grab by activist judges”). The court taunted and rebuked him in the ruling by citing Marbury v. Madison (1803): “It is emphatically the province and duty of the judicial department to say what the law is.” As one wag put it, the court “Mar-buried” Matt.

What are our priorities?  |  Thorn 

The Metro Council voted to spend about $500,000 in surplus to create low-barrier shelters for homeless people. These will have fewer rules and, therefore, greater access. At the same meeting, it also voted to send $75,000 of the surplus to the Louisville Zoo for its 50th anniversary celebration, the CJ reported. We like the zoo just fine, but throwing thousands its way while people sleep rough does not sound right.

Use them to fill potholes  |  Rose 

Shortly after we called out Mayor Greg “Tortoise” Fischer for inaction, he said the George D. Prentice statue will go into storage (read: never seen again, like the Water Co. building). Cave Hill Cemetery didn’t want the anti-immigrant publisher, and we bet it rejects Confederate John B. Castleman’s statue, too.

Just ew!  |  Absurd 

“How were you ever able to enjoy a fire that didn’t smell like fried chicken?” KFC asks. That’s right —  it’s the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog, which KFC says is better than “sticks or leaves or various incriminating documents.” Apparently, people like their living rooms smelling like fast food. The $18.99 logs have sold out, alas.