Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best and Most Absurd

Sep 11, 2019 at 10:47 am

Roses: The Mayor Knows His People

A rose goes to Planned Parenthood of Indiana and Kentucky for just being. A rose also goes to Mayor Greg Fischer for this rejoinder after its 4Play Soiree fundraiser, which featured the always-popular vibrator races. As reported by LEO columnist Kelsey Westbrook: “Favorite moment from the Planned Parenthood Gala: Olivia and I are walking to the bathroom after the vibrator races, and we pass Mayor Fischer in the hallway. Olivia Rose Griffin: ‘I’d shake your hand, but my hands are covered in lube.’ Fischer: ‘I’d expect nothing less.’”

Rose: Meet Roosevelt The Elephant!

We are conflicted about zoos, but we understand their role as educators and that they help preserve at-risk species. So, with that, we surrendered to cuteness overload as the Louisville Zoo debuted its baby elephant. The bull calf was born a month ago to African elephant Mikki, which makes him extra special. “Mikki is unrelated to any other elephant in North America,” zoo Director John Walczak said in a Courier Journal story. “So her calf not only is wonderful for her and her welfare but is incredibly important for elephant conservation.” The zoo plans to hold a naming contest. Let’s take back the elephant from the Republican Party and give the little man a classic Democratic name.

Rose: Grammar Police Ticket CJ

A rose goes to the CJ for having the humility to run this letter to the editor: “When will the Courier Journal ever publish a newspaper that is not riddled with grammatical mistakes? Every morning, I read the Courier Journal while eating breakfast[,] and I catch numerous grammatical mistakes, which don’t digest very well. I’m a retired college professor emeritus with a Ph.D. and 122 papers published in peer-reviewed journals, so I think I’m pretty good at catching grammatical mistakes. I wonder what tourists and traveling business people think of our city when they read the Courier Journal. (Does the word ‘hillbilly’ come to mind?) Please hire a full-time grammarian so that the Courier Journal can stop embarrassing our city. John R. Ray, Louisville, 40241” (Psst... John, you missed a comma.)

Rose: As Julia Said, ‘With Enough Butter, Anything Is Good’

The Second Street bridge is finally fully buttered, and we love it. Next, work on the Galt House...