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Diets and drinking do not mix. Let me rephrase this … Slim Fast and gin do not mix.

I’ve been able to successfully hide my bulges throughout the winter — tucking them out of view with sweaters, coats and full-body girdles. But as the temperature increases, naturally the amount of clothing you don decreases. It’s like global warming for your body — and, folks, Al Gore is right: It is very real, and it is not very pretty. So I decided to cut down my caloric intake by watching what I eat (Slim Fast for lunch) and switching to gin & soda over beer. Sounds reasonable, right? Unfortunately (or fortunately for those on a budget), when you don’t have solids in your stomach and you attend happy hour, one mixed drink and you’re dancing on the tables or telling dick jokes … and it’s only 6 p.m. … on a Thursday for god sakes!

So I thought I’d compile some facts for anyone attempting to be healthy at a bar, if you believe that’s possible.

BEER (12 ounces)

Budweiser: 145 calories, 10.6 carbs, 5% alcohol
Bud Light: 110 calories, 6.6 carbs,
4.2% alcohol
Bud Select: 99 calories, 3.1 carbs,
4.3% alcohol
Miller Light: 96 calories, 3.2 carbs, 4.2% alcohol
Michelob Ultra: 95 calories, 2.6 carbs, 4.2% alcohol
Corona Light: 105 calories, 5 carbs, 4.1% alcohol
Newcastle: 140 calories, 13 carbs,
5.5% alcohol
Bass Ale: 140 calories, 13 carbs,
5.5% alcohol
Guinness: 126 calories, 10 carbs,
4% alcohol
Harp: 153 calories, 13 carbs, 5% alcohol

LIQUOR (shot)
Absolut vodka: 70 calories, 0 carbs, 43% alcohol
Tanqueray gin: 115 calories, 0 carbs, 47.3% alcohol
Jim Beam bourbon: 100 calories,
0 carbs, 40% alcohol
Bacardi rum: 96 calories, 0 carbs,
40% alcohol
Jose Cuervo tequila: 97 calories,
0 carbs, 40% alcohol
Jagermeister: 103 calories, 11 carbs, 35% alcohol

Check out my blog at www.leoweekly.com, or e-mail me at shavens@leoweekly.com

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