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Emergency Preparedness (an assembled poem)

by Jean Tucker

Plan how to take care of your pets.
Never swaddle a loon. If the bird is young, roast or broil.
Do not use candles or open flames.
Never use water, as this will only spread the fire.
Never place a loon in a small body of water.
If in doubt, throw it out, If. on a group,
do not huddle but spread out.
Protect your head.
Cover ears and tail with aluminum foil.
Be ready to leave the area immediately.
Never allow the coffee to boo.
Never offer minnows to loons.
Have ready a surface dusted with confectioner’s sugar or cornstarch.
Find tow ways out of each room.
In using the index, look for a noun rather than an adjective.
Jelly has great clarity.

Sources: “Disasters and What You Can Do to Protect Yourself,” Louisville/Jefferson County Local Emergency Planning Committee; “Lake Tides” Vol. 39, No. 3, Wisconsin Lakes Partnership; “Joy of Cooking,” Rombauer & Becker, Bobbs Merrill, 1978.

This article appears in January 28, 2015 (15751824).

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