Q: Its taken a lot to do this but here goes. I am a 38-year-old gay male. I have been dating this this guy for one year and 10 months. Its been a lot of work. He cheated on me numer-ous times, and he lives with me and doesnt work, and Ive been taking care of him for seven months now. He always accuses me of cheating or ?nds something to blame me for. What I am angry about now is how for the past four months, he has been accusing me of playing games by conspiring with people to make him hear voices. If I look up at the ceiling or look around he said I am communi-cating with them. I keep telling him I do not hear or see anything, but he insists that I am lying. He also says I put a curse on him. One day I got up, and he packs his bags and said he had enough and walked out. He said I was not being loyal. This is a man who has been doing coke since age of 14, and he is now 43 years old. He does meth and whatever else. He said until I come clean about hearing the voices too and admit I cast some sort a spell on him, he wont talk to me or see me. Mental illness runs in his family and one sibling already committed suicide. He didnt want professional help because, he says, I am too smart for that. Im hurt and angry and want some advice. ANY ADVICE. Please. Desperate For Answers
A: I dont see the problem.
A delusional and potentially dangerous drug addict with mental health issues who refuses to get help packed his bags and walked out of your life. Yahtzee, DFA, you win. It was his presence in your life (and your apartment) that was the problem and your boyfriend your ex-boyfriend just solved it for you. Block his number, change your locks and pray he forgets your address. You might wanna seek some professional help yourself. You need to get to the bottom of why you wasted nearly two years on this asshole. Being alone cant be worse than being with someone who cheats on you and then accuses you of cheating to say nothing of someone who abuses drugs, hears voices and makes other irrational/delusional accusa-tions. He wasnt just a danger to himself, DFA, he was a danger to you. Hes out of your apartment now you need to get him out of your head.
Q: About a month ago I broke up with my boyfriend after I found out was cheating on me. Long before we broke up, I freaked out about a rash, and looking back, I think it was probably herpes all along. I found out for sure three days ago, and Im honestly thinking about not telling him. He doesnt show any symptoms, and hes the type of guy who will call me a slut if I tell him. Hell blame me his wrongdoing and just keep going and going. I honestly dont know if I should tell him, since hes asymptomatic. This is going to cause a huge problem between us. He has a lot of anger issues, and he could use this as black-mail. Im legitimately scared. Her Ex Reacts Personally
A: Letting a former sex partner know you may have exposed them to an STI or that they may have exposed you to an STI is the decent, responsible, courteous and kind thing to do. Not just for their health and safety, HERP, but for the health and safety of their future sex partners. But people who are unkind, scary and violent have no one but themselves to blame when a former sex partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/enbyfriend is too afraid for their own safety to make that discloser. Provided your fears are legitimate, HERP, and youre not in?ating them to avoid an awkward or unpleasant conversation, you dont owe your ex a call.
Q: Im a bi guy living alone. At the start of the year, this new guy moved into the house where I live in we share communal areas but have private rooms and hes a bit of a slacker, but holy shit is he hot. Ive had regular fantasies about him. And now with the quarantine, those fantasies have increased along with the number of times I see him in a day. Ive been feeling the urge to ask him if hes interested in anything, but my friends have advised me to not shit where I eat. But due to the quarantine, the only other option I have is masturbating, and thats not doing the trick. Should I take the plunge and ask him? Household Entirely Lacks Pleasure
A: Health authorities have advised us to shit where we eat for the time being. The New York City Health Department recommends masturbation, HELP, because you are and always have been your safest sex partner. But your next safest partner during this pandemic is someone with whom you live. NYC Health has advised us all to avoid close contact including sex with anyone outside your household. That doesnt mean everyone inside your household is fair game, of course; some people are quarantining with their parents. But if there was ever a time when you could approach a non-related adult with whom you live to see if they might wanna fuck around, nows the time. Apologize to the hot slacker in advance for potentially making things awkward and invite him to say no. (If youre not interested, please say no and I promise not to bring it up again.) But if the answer is yes, HELP, send video.
Q: Im a gay bondage bottom. My boyfriend of four years is 100% vanilla, and we solved the problem of my need to get tied up and its a real need by outsourcing it. (Can you tell were longtime readers and listeners?) I was seeing two regular FWBs/bondage buddies, but thats obviously on hold right now. (Ive reached out to both my FWBs to let them both know Im thinking about them and that I care about them, Dan, like youve been urging people to do on your show.) The issue is I still really need to get tied up, and my boyfriend is willing, but hes so bad at it that I dont want to bother. He knows how much I need it, and hes hurt that Id rather go without than let him put me in bondage that isnt really bondage because I can easily get out. We used to ?ght because I wanted him to tie me up, and he didnt want to do it, and now were ?ghting because he wants to tie me up and I wont let him do it. Any advice for a fan? This Isnt Exactly Desirable
A: If people can teach yoga, give concerts and conduct ? rst dates via online streaming services, then one of your bondage buddies can if theyre into the idea give your boyfriend a few bondage tutorials online. Im glad to hear you already reached out to your bondage buddies, TIED, since now youll be asking them to do you and your boyfriend a favor. But I imagine its a favor theyll enjoy doing.
Q: Im a teenage girl with a female friend who keeps joking about having sex with me. Were both into girls and sex, but while I ?nd her really hot, she probably doesnt feel the same about me. How can I tell if shes joking about it because she ?nds the idea ridiculous or if shes joking about it because she actually wants to? Once everything goes back to normal COVID-wise, what should I do? Getting Into Real Life
A: The ability to ask someone a direct ques-tion particularly someone youre inter-ested in romantically and/or sexually is an important skill, GIRL, and getting some practice now, when stakes are relatively low, will bene?t you all your life. So get your friend on the phone and ask her this: Are you serious about wanting to have sex with me? Its ?ne if you dont want to, but Im actually attracted to you. Please say no if the answers no. If the answer is yes, you can make a date to get together once circumstances/pandemics allow. But if the answer is no, GIRL, then you can get some practice making declarative statements: I dont want you to make those jokes anymore. Theyre hurtful to me. And if she continues to make jokes about having sex with you after youve made it clear shes hurting your feelings, then shes just being cruel and doesnt deserve your time, attention, or friendship.
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