I’m not a scientist, I’m a ‘sarcasticist’

It has been pretty daunting living in this crazy world of weather, not being a scientist, having to live in the dark ages of ridiculously-cool weather apps, satellite and storm-tracking gadgets that allow you to see exactly what tree was hit by lightning within the last half hour (true story). I can’t imagine how terrifying things were back in the days of the weather rock.

(For you kids out there who don’t know about the weather rock, before the iPhone there was the rock hanging from the tree. When you wanted to know what the weather was going to be you’d look outside at the rock. If the rock was wet, it was raining. If there was snow on the rock, it was going to be cold. If the rock was swinging, it was windy. If the rock was missing, there’s a tornado. And so on …)

The point is that it is a scary living in the world as a non-scientist, knowing only up to the quarter-hour what the weather is doing at your exact location on our planet. It’s just a good thing that there are people working to better understand weather and stuff. I predict that one day, there will even be a profession — a career — in the field of weather science stuff. 

I empathize with Mitch’s plight of being a non-scientist. I admire his courage. Seriously, he’s been living in ignorance way longer than I have. This is not the normal McConnell teasing or sarcasm — as another non-scientist, this is genuine empathy. I mean, could you imagine how scared he was on Friday night when that storm blew through Forecastle, sending him and all those kids running for shelter past 10 p.m.? 

What really burns me up (that’s foreshadowing — pun coming shortly) is when a special-interest group of nameless, fear-mongering “meteorologists” releases a “report” “online” intended to scare us all into thinking our planet is facing some “crisis.” Please. Sarah Palin can see the weather from her house, and we’re supposed to believe some meteorologists? More like “meteorologicians” I say. 

Last week the American Meteorological Society released its “State of the Climate in 2014” report, which shows/confirms that 2014 was the hottest we’ve-broken-this-planet year on record. This report serves as the annual results of an international, collaborative effort of more than 400 scientists from 58 countries. 

So, wait … did someone say scientists?

Senator McConnell and I may not be scientists, but scientists ARE scientists, and they say the world’s climate is changing. Now, those with opposing views and equal sarcasm would ask, “What happened to ‘global warming?’” My response is: If it’s ok with the scientists, I’ll call it whatever you want to call it, and the same goes for Obamacare, because both are here to stay regardless of what you want to call it. This year, Louisville had spring in July! Year after year, it does not just seem like the weather is crazier, it actually is; Science says so. 

I don’t understand much about the climate change, global warming discussion. (Calling it a “debate” would be factually inaccurate because debates are based on facts, the facts based on science, and the science says there is no “debate”: the climate is changing and the globe is warming.) The first thing I do not understand is why this is not the most important news headline in every media outlet in every city, state, province, country, territory, continent around the world. Second, I’m not sure why I was even hesitant to write about this issue. Part of me actually half-considered: “Well, I care about this issue, but not sure others do, and everyone could probably guess my opinion on this issue.” I apologize for not writing about it more! 

Finally, I do not understand how those who oppose action against climate change — politicians or groups who pave the golden driveways of politicians — can acknowledge that the climate is changing, and regardless of whether humans are affecting it or not, remain in opposition to any efforts to slow, stop or reverse it. 

Science has proven it has the ability to identify and fix these enormous problems. Just pull up the “weather rock” app on your iPhone … it will prove it to you! I beg, plead, implore everyone: Let those working in science be scientists, while we who work in sarcasm be “sarcasticists.”

This article appears in July 22, 2015.