To kick off Pride Month this weekend, Anamchara Catholic Community and the Fairness Campaign have joined forces to present a screening of “The Man You Had in Mind,” a documentary about five gay male couples at different stages in their relationships. “The Man You Had in Mind” won best documentary at the 2007 Portland Lesbian & Gay Film Festival and has been licensed for use in foreign countries such as Israel, Germany and Russia.
The film also has ties to Louisville. The longest relationship documented in the film is Eugene Wentworth and Eric Marcoux, who have been together for 55 years. Marcoux studied at the Gethsemani monastery in Bardstown, Ky., before he met Wentworth through a mutual friend in Chicago. While on retreat at the monastery a few years ago, Marcoux met the Rev. Michael Mernagh, who now heads the Anamchara Catholic Community, which operates out of the Crescent Hill Presbyterian Church.
An independent ecumenical community, the Anamchara Catholic Community was founded by Mernagh in 2007. It is not under the jurisdiction of the Archdiocese of Louisville or the Roman Catholic Church. Mernagh explained that the community is “making itself available to people who have been hurt and those who are in need of healing.” He pointed out that his own experiences as a gay man have helped him realize just how many gays and lesbians are involved with the church but are afraid to come out, fearing reprehension from their congregation.
Anamchara is far from a “gay church,” though, as Mernagh pointed out. He said that his congregation is diverse. “There are married people. There are single people. There aren’t actually that many gay people, frankly. There might be only one or two,” Mernagh said. When asked why he wanted to bring “The Man You Had in Mind” to Louisville this week, he said, “It’s a spiritual education piece that says, look, gays and lesbians are capable of having loving, lasting relationships. Human beings are always capable of loving one another, no matter what the combination.”
Mernagh later approached the Fairness Campaign for help promoting the project. Darnell Johnson, organizational manager for Fairness, jumped at the opportunity. “Any chance we have to show positive affection among our community and sustainable relationships, relationships that are built on trust, that’s something the Fairness Campaign, as an organization, wants to put their name behind,” Johnson said.
Wentworth, 78, and Marcoux, 80, are excited to return to Louisville Saturday for a screening of “The Man You Had in Mind.” “Our being out gives other gay people with relatives and friends an opportunity to come out,” Marcoux said. When originally approached about the documentary four years ago, the couple wasn’t shy about their relationship. In fact, they were very forthcoming and saw the documentary as a chance to inspire others. “We’re both convinced that the single most important tool of social change for us as gay people, lesbians, etc., is to make ourselves known to other people.”
The couple felt like the movie captured their relationship accurately, but Wentworth admitted “it’s really only a two-dimensional view. There is another dimension to the story that no one can capture unless they’ve lived it.”
The relationship that Wentworth and Marcoux have shared over the last 55 years has had ups and downs like any other long-term relationship, but the two had no doubt they were meant for each other when they met in 1953. Wentworth, a skilled ballet dancer at the time, was about to audition for a national company, which would mean constant travel for him. He later decided that he wanted to have a “permanent relationship,” so he gave up ballet.
Marcoux left the monastery soon after they met, and the couple moved to Portland, Ore., where they’ve resided ever since. Marcoux taught at an art school for many years, before studying psychotherapy and becoming a lama in the Buddhist community. The two now spend much of their time at an athletic club for seniors in Portland, where some scenes of the documentary were filmed.
Wentworth and Marcoux are hoping for a large turnout at Saturday’s screening. The couple will stick around for a panel discussion after the film. Johnson of the Fairness Campaign is confident the conversation will generate some positive discourse in the community about gay relationships and gay rights.
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Screening of ‘The Man You Had in Mind’
Saturday, May 31
Crescent Hill Presbyterian Church
142 Crescent Ave.
893-4908
www.anamcharacatholiccommunity.org
Free; 7 p.m.
