Women need to stop being concerned with likeability.
It is Women’s History Month and I’ve been thinking a lot about being a woman in a position of authority. My role is small in the scheme of women at the head of organizations but there are times when I realize that my being a woman makes my interactions with men a source of comedy and unnecessary tension.
Men can be comical when confronted by strong women, but as a somewhat assertive woman who will ask for what is necessary — and needed — for my team to be at its best, I am amused when men seem even remotely put out by something I’ve said. Add to that being a Black woman, and I’m sure that the “angry Black woman” trope comes across really big to some guys.
I am what I am, and what you will get is always honest and true to what I believe. I take my job seriously in that I feel a duty to my community to offer the best version of LEO that I can, and though there have been difficulties in doing that, I’m more focused than ever on returning LEO to its place of being a strong voice in Louisville.
Since the LEO readership leans female, I’m writing this, in particular, to other women to say something very simple. You are capable. Trust yourself.
One, if you are in a position where you make decisions, make them without apologies, and make them without the need to take care of other adult’s feelings in the process. I’m not saying to be cold and heartless but know that your decision can be and should be for the health of your role, your company, or your family — and you should never second guess or doubt your ability to make the best decisions.
Too often, I find myself questioning why I’m in this role and nitpicking myself about everything I do. In the last few months, big decisions are so much of what I have been doing that I’ve learned something big about myself. I’m capable.
I’ve picked a team, so far, that is also capable and I hope that as I grow in feeling empowered in my role that I can lift them up and help them feel that way too.
LEO has such a legacy in this city as well, that I’ve hesitated to change aspects of the paper even if I found them tedious or outdated. But, just because something has always been doesn’t mean that it should always be. LEO needed to grow up with its years and someone had to be there to make that happen.
It’s funny that this seems like such a simple thing to say to other women — “you are capable and trust yourself” — but sisters, we do need to hear it. We need other women to tell us and we need to tell other women because there are days when the “boys” club certainly doesn’t take us seriously and underestimates our skills and decision-making abilities.
I’ve realized that the more I get stung by the slight sexist comment or response — even when the person doesn’t realize what they’ve said has crossed a line — the stronger and more “in-your-face” I tend to grow. It becomes a challenge and instead of feeling defeated, I do what men do. I puff out my chest and dig in my heels a bit more. Maybe it’s the right thing to do, maybe it puts me in the crosshairs, or the unemployment line but if I feel something is right, I’ll stand up for it. I learned from a long line of really amazing and stubborn women.
You with me?
