Cable Boxing: “Real World XX” can”t be cured

The
Real World XX: The
cast of Bunbury’s “Rabbit Hole” includes Neil Brewer,
Laura Stuart Obenauf, Carol Tyree Williams, Raquel Robbins
Cecil and Ted Lesley.

Hollywood

Episode
6:
“Greg vs. The House”

MTV;
Wednesdays at 10 p.m., aired May 21.

Synopsis:
After
hearing his roommates do a confessional about him, Greg realizes that
he doesn’t like most of the roommates. Kimberly admits to having
feelings for Dave. Dave meets Justine and brings her back to the
house, which upsets Kimberly. Will, knowing that Sarah has a
boyfriend, kisses her anyway. Sarah’s boyfriend Ryan comes for a
visit.

Sara: What
the hell happened to my favorite show? I used to look so forward to a
new “Real World” every year. Remember the good old days? Eric and
Julie in New York? Jon and Beth O. in L.A.? Pedro and Puck in San
Fran? Julie and Melissa in New Orleans? Seems like ever since the
Vegas season, it’s now about watching gorgeous, brain-dead
youngsters get drunk, fornicate and fight with each other.

Mat: This is kind of like watching your weird aunt die after a slow,
painful existence. The progenitor of reality shows as we know it just
can’t sustain itself. It’s become a grumpy, sleazy, cheating
hooker who doesn’t know when to quit.

Sara: Even
if it burns when she pees?

So
let me get this straight — Kim likes Dave. Dave likes Kim’s body.
Dave brings home another girl and seduces her with a stuffed rooster.
Kim gets pissed. Why am I still watching again?

Mat: You haven’t gone through the three stages of grief yet: watch, gag,
change channel. The girl whom Dave seduced? Judging from the looks of
her, he didn’t have to try that hard.

Sara: So
everyone hates Greg, aka “The Chosen One.” Hmmm … can’t see
why, he’s a charmer — hides rocks in his roommates’ beds,
steals Sarah’s underwear, refers to his female friends as
“associates.” Classy. An excerpt from his confessional: “I am
in the house with crazy fuckers. But again, I’m not gonna crack. I
am a fuckin’ diamond. Diamond does not crack, it cuts.”

Mat: Suddenly, living in a Hollywood mansion is akin to “Survivorman.”
What? You live in California. You get paid to drink and screw. What’s
the problem with that? Other than it indicates your incessant need
for attention.

Sara: Sarah’s
nerdy boyfriend needs to grow a pair. Would you cower in your boxers
as your hot girlfriend went toe-to-toe with a nut-job like Greg?

Mat: Of course, but that’s because I’m a veritable ninja. I think he
handled it the right way. As long Greg doesn’t hit her, I’d let
her tear him up for a few rounds.

Sara: So
when does the seventh roommate get back from rehab? This blows. We
need more violent, 3 a.m. wall-punchings.

Mat: As a former smoker, I had to stay aware of my “triggers,” things
that would make me wanna light up. No. 7 would do well to stay away
from the house. Then again, if he relapsed and pummeled one of his
roommates, he could say, “MTV made me do it.” We’re not talking
about responsible adults here.

Sara: Even
if it burns when you pee?

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This article appears in May 27, 2008.