DMC Finds Power In Talking About His Depression

Y’all, full circle moments. I swear. 

Leadership Louisville hosted their ninth Leadership Summit at the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts. The event welcomes leaders from around the country to network, learn and grow their capacity to offer quality, empathetic leadership. For the event, they invited Darryl “DMC” McDaniels of the legendary rap group, Run DMC to deliver the keynote speech.

At many conferences the keynote speaker is an obvious member of the conference audience usually with a message of encouragement or a personal tale, and yes, McDaniels is all of those things, and his story was a personal tale. But, McDaniels is a legend and your run-of-the-mill office-y business isn’t what he’s known for. He’s the DMC from history making music group Run DMC, one of the most famous hip-hop/rap groups of all time. His personal tale was about facing off with the fact that he wanted to kill himself. He’s written a book about it, “Ten Ways Not to Commit Suicide: A Memoir.”

Suicidal ideation and leadership aren’t necessarily topics that many think about in tandem, but often the isolation that comes from being in a position of power can create a disconnect from being an everyday human being. It happens to many leaders, and this is what happened to McDaniels. He is very famous and, at the time of his depression, everyone loved him, but the individual they loved was a persona, DMC, but not Darryl McDaniels. 

Not many knew the real him. Then he discovered that he was adopted. 

It was at this moment that McDaniels realized he didn’t even know himself. This put him on the path to discovery that led him through drinking and drugs but ultimately to rehab and therapy where he found real healing. As he shared his story with the crowd, the adoration they brought because he was DMC shifted to a deeper admiration for his honesty and vulnerability. A human to human bridge was built. It was a powerful moment. 

One of the many reasons to love this job is meeting and talking to so many interesting people. Not all of them are as famous at McDaniels but almost always they have something so beautifully human and visceral to share. Sitting down to talk to McDaniel was absolutely no different. His honesty about mental health struggles and his vulnerability when discussing them is not just for the stage. 

LEO: Why did you choose to speak at a leadership conference?

Darryl “DMC” McDaniels: Well, the leadership avenue is to empower people. The positions that so-called leaders are put in, is there because they have a responsibility. So for me, it's not about the album sales or awards. For athletes, it’s not about all the championship stuff. Whatever position. The CEO.  It's not about your being the manager or the boss and stuff like that. You’re put there as an example so everybody else could succeed. One of the things that I wanted to do was, I didn't want people to think that everything that I did at work is the thing that made me successful. It was acknowledging the diversity that I had problems getting through. And once you reveal that, at least it enlightens a person's outlook on their struggle, because people will either forsake the journey and not admit the vulnerability, confusion, fear, and anxiety that we’ve all got.

I actually wrote that down, vulnerability. Because this is not something ‘men’  are supposed to be. 

Yeah, yeah, man up, you ain't supposed to cry. You ain't supposed to feel. 

I think it’s a big deal that you admitted your vulnerability as a grown, Black man. 

Especially Black man, especially in hip-hop, Because 99, well… a hundred percent. Well, 99.9, 9, 9, 9 of men are fronting. Their behavior shows that. If they’re over-violent, man. If they’re very machismo. If they are very physical and tough, if they're very disrespectful, if they're very rude, if they're very uncompassionate, there’s something that they're going through that they're sheltering, that they're ashamed of somebody knowing because they think it's a weakness.

The responsibility is to get other men to open up and other people, the so-called stubborn ones to open up, and also it allows those that are, “Man, I ain't doing that. I'm OK,”  to start realizing by the next seven times that whatever particular situation is not getting them nowhere.  I want people to get where they're supposed to go. And they don't realize that adversity, obstacles, confusion, anxiety, and fear exists in all levels of your life.

You know what I'm saying? The business decisions. The going out, doing all of that, it's about overcoming, and if not overcoming, being able to deal with these adverse situations, adverse emotional situations continually. Don't give up. If you have to deal with the situations til the day you die, at least you lived a life, right? So I'm tired of people giving up, you know what I'm saying?

The pandemic really exposed this in a lot of people. 

Yeah, it was a wake-up call. 

That’s another thing, not being in contact with people. So, my whole career was being up in front of people to inspire, motivate, entertain while I educated them. So I realized I'm even more powerful when I talk about how messed up I was. It's more empowering than me saying, ‘Oh, I got an award. My Adidas, I walked this way. I'm the king of rock, this and that.”  It's more powerful when I say, ‘I'm sick and tired of the pain and the hurt. I do this for Chester, Chris and Kurt.’ Chester from Linkin Park killed his self, Chris Cornell killed his self and Kurt Cobain. ‘I’m sick and tired of the pain and the hurt. I do this for Chester, Chris and Kurt. Death is appealing. So with death I flirt, I tell the world how I feel and they say, I'm a jerk. I'm not bugging. I'm struggling. All this guzzling, all this drinking is puzzling. So you know what? I stopped hanging with Jack and Jim, so I can fight in the battle to show you, you can win.’

We pause to discuss one of the people McDaniels had met. A woman told him about being shot in an office shooting 12 times. The woman is now working to prevent this from happening to others. McDaniels was impressed with her story. 

Why do you think it’s important for leaders to focus on mental health?

Because people in their places of business is struggling, and you don't want the situation with, like the lady that came in and said she got shot 12 times. Oh my God. That’s crazy. She lived and changed her whole life direction. 

So now she's trying to crusade for gun violence and dealing with emotion. So what it is, is the leaders, the owners, the CEO and the bosses got to acknowledge that these conditions exist and get to them before it escalates and that means knowing the people that's in the office. And even if you don't know, show them all you care. ‘Cause that guy won't go postal. He might just come to you and want to talk to you. But if he or she's struggling and nobody never pays attention, they come in with their gun. You would rather have them come crying to you, so you say, ‘You know what, I'm going to go with you, whatever you need me to do.’ That's all, especially with the kids, these violent kids, this group of juvenile detention homes, boys and girls.

I'll go to these places. They'll go, ‘Watch out for him or her.’ And I go, ‘No, that's the first person. I wanna see.’ Just like I’m sitting here talking to you. They say, ‘You know what, DMC? Nobody never said that to me,’ or ‘Nobody never asked me. They want to lock me in a room and give me drugs. Instead of talking to me.’ You know what I'm saying?

I loved the Sarah McLachlan story. Talk to me about how the isolation of fame added to your depression?

Everybody was asking me, ‘How can you be depression, you’re fucking DMC.’ That’s the first thing they say. 

It's not about the material, physical elevation of my representation on this earth. But what happened was nobody seemed to understand me, so I isolated myself and isolation is the worst thing that you could do. Now they’ve become enemy, because they don't understand what I'm saying. It’s the isolation that pushes you further into depression. Therapy don't have to be clinical therapy. I tell one person and, ‘Well DMC at least you had money to go pay for a therapist. What about if you broke?’ I just said, ‘There's somebody around.’ You might not even be in your house. Maybe it's the man downstairs, down the block at the corner deli that she grew up with, you know, Mr. Rio. ‘Morning Mr. Rio.’  You say, ‘I've never told anybody this, Mr. Rio. I need to tell you.’ Because you might not want to tell your wife, your brother, your husband, tell Mr. Rio. And I guarantee you… Mr. Rio saw you grow up. Or the barber, ‘I've been cutting your hair since you was a baby’  

You tell them, ‘I’m suicidal, I’m depressed, I’m alcoholic.’ A hundred percent of the time Mr. Rio’s gonna to say, “Oh my God, me too.’ Or ‘my son,’ right now. That's your therapy. Now you got a place where you can go and just talk. And that's the thing that vulnerability brings you to the thing that will help you.

But even more importantly, for me, it's part of my therapy because I'm seeing that when I see somebody else say something they're going through, it lets me know I’m not alone. And, It’s not like getting over a cold. The cure is continually getting through it.

Struggle is a real thing. We’re all there. These last two years haven’t gone easy on any of us. If you’re in a depression, please seek help. Call 911. Call the suicide prevention lifeline. Call a parent, a friend. Call anyone or do what McDaniel’s suggests and talk to the man at the corner store. You never know who might be the one to help you through. The point of it all is that you make it through.

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