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A wise friend once said that the mere existence of a music scene doesn’t mean it’s good, and that “art for art’s sake” emphasizes creation over quality. He’s right, and he was talking about this record. Beyond the first 50 seconds of “Baptized,” Switchmen’s $2 Pistol is a scripted freefall through the trap door of white-boy modern rock. Hours later, they’ll wake up in a dungeon surrounded by an underground colony of Neanderthals who welded their dreams to grunge’s bandwagon long after its wheels fell off. The colony will fill their heads with numb compliments about how they did their best, and tried to ignore those “hipster assholes.” But their true objective — should Switchmen choose to accept it — is to find the exit before their minds rust from a polluted imagination.     

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