Cover Story
Fake Issue 2011
PBR leak reported in Germantown MetroSafe has issued an all-clear six days after nearly a million gallons of beer burst from a ruptured Nachbar holding tank in the intoxicated Germantown neighborhood. Bar owner James Gunnoe attributed the cause of the spill to a keg-related phenomena known as excessive suddification. “It was my responsibility to make…
Fake Issue: Humana Fest actor breaks leg, can’t afford health insurance
Just as the lights dimmed during Friday’s opening performance of “The End,” K. Thomas Welsh fell down the stairs at Actors Theatre as he was entering stage right. “I broke my left leg at the beginning of ‘The End,’” he said Tuesday at a press conference. Welsh’s agent said he’ll be out for at least…
Plugged In
Readers are strongly encouraged to call ahead to verify these listings. To get your club, comedian, musical act or karaoke listed, please send e-mail to mherron@leoweekly.com with PLUGGED IN in the subject line. The deadline is NOON THURSDAY the week before the show happens. We do not accept listings via social networking sites. Wed. Mar…
Fake Issue: Greg Fischer scores interview with LEO Weekly
Ever since taking office in January, Mayor Greg Fischer has been badgering LEO Weekly to interview him. Pointing out that his predecessor made it on the cover on more than one occasion, the political newcomer lobbied the publication for the same opportunity. After bumping another news story and rearranging a few things, LEO made room…
Fake Issue: Tolls for poles
When Crystal D’Ambrosio lost her job as an exotic dancer, she didn’t know how she would make ends meet. “It’s a juggling act, you know? I wasn’t sure if I could pay all of my bills, keep a roof over my head, and somehow stay in nursing school,” says the former weekend shift employee at…
Fake Issue: Staffpicks
1.5 million years B.C.-2012 Fire Fire bad, tree pretty. No! Wait … ugh, fire good! Yeah, me like-a fire. Me want touch fire … OWWW! Fire bad! Hit fire! Smash! Nooo! Fire angry now! Fire jump and burn all around! Me pray to rain god — take back fire into night sky! No, stop. Take…
Fake Issue: Ask a dead Louisvillian
As a public service, Summary of My Discontent invited a select panel of dead Louisvillians to answer questions from readers. Dear George Rogers Clark: I think my husband is cheating on me. He’s routinely late coming home, he’s always on Facebook, and I recently discovered his penis inside another woman. Is it safe to fertilize…
Fake Issue: Louisville cashes in on reality TV craze
As voyeuristic Americans become increasingly obsessed with the dysfunction and depravity of others, several reality TV series filmed in Louisville are set to premiere on Kentucky Educational Television later this month. In a major departure from the critically acclaimed independent films he’s backed in the past, producer Gill Holland is behind the crop of local…
Fake Issue: Approaching asteroid forces ear X-tacy into Mega Cavern
ear X-tacy owner and avowed conspiracy theorist John Timmons relocated his store to the Mega Cavern underneath the Louisville Zoo Tuesday based on hearing rumors of an impending asteroid attack. While the last documented touchdown from a celestial baseball happened in Siberia in 1908, Timmons isn’t risking it. “I watch ABC’s Brian Ross, and he…
Fake Issue: Bar Belle a party crasher
Have you ever had one of those nights that ended up completely different than what you expected? Have you ever crashed a party and realized you knew no one, but the drinks were flowing, so you stayed anyway? That happened to me a few years ago when I ended up at what I thought was…
Video TapeWorm
THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS: TRON 1982; $29.95, PG When this movie hit the theatres in July 1982, critics praised its innovative blending of computer-generated backgrounds with live action, declaring it a new art form. Disney had to cheat a bit, of course, since no one had yet invented the digital optical printer, but we’ll give…
Fake Issue: Louisville restaurants report mass move to ‘bacon-centric’ menus
A spokesman for the Louisville chapter of the Kentucky Restaurant Association, in a surprise announcement, said last week that virtually all area restaurants are in the beginning stages of updating their menus to feature one key product: bacon. “Why bacon?” said the KRA’s Bruce Muddschnaut. “That’s simple: Because it’s bacon. By this time next year,…
Fake Issue: Recently Reviewed
MCDONALD’S, 1212 W. Broadway, 584-7046. The super-sized jugs of Diet Coke here are known to cure hangovers. Of course the side of fries and two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickle, onion on a sesame seed bun help ease the pain as well. (Rating: 75) TEXAS ROADHOUSE, 6460 Dutchmans Pkwy., 896-8646. Yes, you can…
Fake Issue: ‘Impressionist Landscapes’ exhibit is a blurry, sloppy mess
“Landscape is nothing but an impression,” said Claude Monet, “and an instantaneous one.” If these words by this so-called “artist” Monet are true, then we have differing opinions of the word “impression.” My “impression” of this show and this group of artists who call themselves Impressionists is that it’s all child’s play. These paintings can’t…
Fake Issue: Inbox — March 30, 2011
Winning! Dear Leo Weekly, We’re happy to inform you that you may have already won 1 million dollars! Mr. Weekly, have you dreamed of buying your dream home, flying off to exotic locations and living the life of a millionaire? If so, contact us within 72 hours to find out if you are our Sweepstakes…
Fake Issue: Whitehead & The Whiskers make ‘Lullabies 2’
Children, cover your ears. For months, professorial poet Ron Whitehead has scoured Louisville Metro’s opaque nether regions in search of 100 feral cats to be part of a choir for his upcoming track on Louisville Lullabies 2. The compilation, which Whitehead appeared on last year, is a menu of local artists performing covers of popular…
Fake Issue: McKnot
Now that he’s dutifully employed by Bonnaroo creators AC Entertainment, Forecastle founder J.K. McKnight is ditching the Merrells in favor of a suit and tie. There’s only one problem: “I don’t know how to tie one, so I had to ask my mom,” McKnight says. “I just turned 30, and I’ve never worn a tie…
