Use protection

Feb 11, 2009 at 6:00 am

Sometimes once isn’t enough. Dr. Sex had so much to say about sex, love and human relationships, we couldn’t fit it all in. So here, liberated from their original context, are further snippets from the man himself — some things he said during our date, others he e-mailed me the morning (or a few) after.  

“Why do men go to strip clubs? It is akin to being hungry and going to a restaurant and looking at dishes of food but not being allowed to eat them. Likewise, with porn: When you’re hungry you don’t look at pictures of food.”

“If you ask people what’s wrong with having sex with animals, sooner or later they will say that the animal can’t consent to have sex. But few animals consent to be eaten, and I bet most animals would rather have sex with you than be eaten by you.” 

“Since most men are right-handed and most men masturbate, why are we so quick to shake each others’ hands when we meet?”

“Let’s assume that over the course of your life, you have sex three times a week for 50 years. And let’s say that your average bout of sex lasts 15 minutes. Then, over the course of your lifetime, you have had 117,000 minutes of sex. That sounds like a lot until you convert it to days: 81.25 days. For a 70-year life span, you have 25,550 days of life, so your proportion of sex is 81/25550 = .00317, or 0.3 percent of your life. There’s a lot of fuss for something that lasts such a small amount of time.”

“It’s harder for guys to find women to have sex with than it is for women to find guys to have sex with.”

“The Cougar: Biologically speaking, it’s unexplainable. They can’t reproduce, so it would have to be a socially constructed behavior. Probably the same reason men want trophy wives. It’s either to prove that they’re attractive or can attract this young man.”

On Marriage: “If you think about it bluntly, you enter into a legal contract you can never get out of where you assume you will never want any other thing — if you signed a contract saying you will only eat hamburger, no matter how much you love this hamburger, eventually you may want fish. …

“Marriage assumes that people change at the same rate. If you’re 20 and you get married and you both like to hang around Fourth Street Live and get drunk and vomit, as you get older, the two may not want to do that any longer, but they may not want to do that at the same rate. …

“If love is eternal and love is forever, then why do you need it to be sanctified by the government? People say it gives them more security. But if the love is real, then you don’t need more security, you have the love. …

“I probably will get married in about a year.” 


Stimulus package: My date with Dr. Sex

The Curiously Self-Aware Dude's Guide to Healing a Broken Heart