Amazoned, Googled… giving liberals a taste

I think we need to start doing this every week. Every time we write some bollocks, it’s old bollocks by the time anyone reads it.

That’s where you’re wrong. Nobody reads it, which gives us true and absolute creative freedom. The unread columnist is the most sought-after job in media.

Got to love that positive spin. It’s like Google telling us they’d learnt a lot from tearing up our streets and then heading for the exit. The trouble is, positive spin is always so transparent. What a bunch of usurious wankers.

Meh, it’s only The Highlands that got a taster, and it’s only Highlands streets that got mucked up. A load of bleeding-heart liberals finding out how the rest of the world lives. No bad thing.

There’s an important lesson to take from this debacle, not that any city ever learns it before it’s too late.

And what might that be, Sophocles?

Never give a corporation anything for nothing. We see it time after time. Cities, counties, states: They all give corporations the whole yes-sir-no-sir-three-bags-full-sir forelock-tug and then ask for nothing in return, save the vote-seducing promise of jobs. And then the corporations — whose sole purpose is diametrically opposed to the public good — turn around and flick the Vs.

The funniest part is that these corporations are all about free markets while simultaneously demanding every penny they can get from government. Elizabeth Warren was absolutely bang on. None of them built anything themselves — they’re a bunch of money-grubbing parasites.

Absolutely, but sticking up for yourself means you run the risk of getting Amazoned.

A poisoned chalice if ever there was one.

You watch. That Braidy Industries boondoggle that Bevin has his oily little dabs all over won’t amount to anything close to what he promised.

Of course — because as you uncharacteristically and therefore accurately noted — the motives of taxpayers and corporations are almost entirely contradictory.

I’ve been to lots of fundraising events for angel investors and the like, and never once did I hear a company that was pitching get asked about how many jobs they’d create, or how much they’d invest in the community. Creating jobs — and thereby creating costs — aren’t corporate goals; they’re a distinctly-unpleasant side effect. Capitalists don’t love automation because it gives workers more time off to enjoy.

But at least Louisville’s not going bust to pay for pensions for miners with black-lung disease in Pigsknuckle County.

Yeah, right? But I feel for Fischer on this one. Perhaps there’s some justification in the criticism about a lack of preparation, since he knew it was coming, but Louisville has always paid its pension contribution to Frankfort in full. Bevin and his toothless inbred followers take delight in seeing Louisville suffer so they can berate us about our “immorality.”

The bottom line, unfortunately, is that the city’s going to cut costs, not charge people more for living here. They’ll reduce needed services rather than tax businesses and residents.

That’s a shortsighted way of looking at it, isn’t it? Cutting costs means people will lose their jobs, and people who’re hurting will hurt even more.

Exactly. But that’s the sad reality.

It’s also a really bad way of going about paying a bill like this. People cry out in anguish at the thought of wealthy people paying a bit more, as if losing your job somehow *isn’t* paying. It’s paying with everything these people have got — their job, their healthcare, their benefits and more. Sure, some people will find other jobs, a handful maybe even better ones. But the other reality is that most won’t, which has immense knock-on effects in a city the size of Louisville.

You’re in high dudgeon this week, aren’t you?

Thanks. I’ll assume from that comment that you know I’m right. As is Fischer in trying to find any way he can to increase revenue without forcing a load of people out of their livelihoods. People can no longer afford to stay in their homes. They need public support for their kids and themselves: Within months it can devastate a family. It’s just a pants idea to cut costs when cutting costs means hundreds of people lose good jobs. It’s always better to ask those who can afford a little more to pay a little more.

And by “ask” I hope you mean “tell.” Anyway, how about making weed and sports gambling legal? Since I don’t touch either it won’t cost me a penny. And Kentucky’s geographical position relative to other states that have done similar things — and they’re all fucking miles away — means we’d benefit from being the first state to do it. Locally I mean.

It seems increasingly likely that we’ll do at least one of those things. I’m looking forward to hearing how all the rubes in Frankfort who love to lecture us on our sinning will suddenly be at peace with something they’ve always damned as godless and iniquitous. Still, the power of money always seems to trump the power of Jesus, especially with that lot.

It’s certainly one of those things where a lot of rural Kentucky is secretly all for it — when you have almost no education and nothing to your name, it makes sense to praise the Lord, get high and gamble. Hey, speaking of which, those Covington Catholic lads got completely exonerated by an investigation firm hired by the law firm that represents the local diocese. How about that then? Vindication is theirs.

Sod it. Nothing’s changing anyone’s mind now. I was only ever aware of a shit-eating private-school grin under a MAGA hat. I even sat through an hour-or-so of footage, like a twat, and it confirmed everything I saw with my own two mincers.

Old white people telling people of colour what is and what isn’t racist. Entitled Chav cunts. I’m glad they’re dying out.

And it can’t happen soon enough.

This article appears in February 20, 2019.