Bill Murray not funny, Bevin to challenge Mitch, gang bill fatal

I can’t wait. Even you’re going to become a college hoops fan if Bill Murray starts turning up at Cards games.

It’ll take a lot more than a never-funny, played-out twat like Murray to stop me knowing that $28 million of public money on a kids’ sports coach is an insult to this city’s efforts to look sophisticated. Even though I appreciate the coach’s haircut, it’s still a hard “fuck no” from me.

Speaking of sports, sports radio now seems to be the only place Kentucky Democrats can find suitable candidates. McConnell’s going to wipe the floor with him of course.

McConnell won’t even be on the ballot.

I know that spouting total bollocks is your chosen profession, but what are you talking about? Of course it’ll be McConnell; he’s not giving up, and who else is going to be on the GOP side of the ballot in 2020?

Easy. Bevin. I’ll bet my last shilling that he’s going to primary McConnell, and that he’s going to leather him.

OK, now you’ve got my attention. Interesting and potentially delicious too. What makes you think that?

Bevin has ambitions that stretch a little farther than Frankfort, right? That much is as obvious as the omnipresent, deranged, psychotic smirk on his face. Plus, he’s highly unlikely to primary fellow libertarian nutter Rand Paul and probably doesn’t want to wait until 2026 — by which time Bevin himself is going to be almost 60 — to see if McConnell will politely step aside. Bevin probably can’t stand McConnell; at the very least, they’re definitely not mates. I’d also bet that Paul, who’s loved here in a way that McConnell will never be, will endorse Bevin.

Plus, Bevin has that weird, Puritan streak thing going on, like wanting everyone who was paid off for sex-harassment allegations to resign from Frankfort immediately, even though they ignored him. Meanwhile, on that subject, McConnell moves in exactly the opposite direction in Washington.

Exactly. This dog-shite teacher pension bill makes it more likely, not less likely. “My work here is done and I can serve you much better in Washington.” He primaried McConnell before, but how he’s got a much bigger name and a far more extensive fundraising network… which’ll be supplemented by lots of Koch money. And say what you like about his character, he’s got the Alberts to do it.

I like it. The only potential spanner in the works is his chances of a spot on the national GOP ticket, which are increasingly good. It depends on what Pence decides to do, but I think he’s in it for 2020, too. Still, zero chance for Matt Jones.

I disagree. Listen to Jones taking on McConnell on the blower when Mitch called him out of the blue: He took it to him and didn’t stand for any of his guff. Did it on the hoof, too; no prep presumably. And if the best Kentucky establishment Democrats can do is Grimes and Conway, then there’s bugger all to lose. Someone willing to run as a proper progressive, not Republican-lite, with recognition outside of Louisville that’s off the charts? Why not?

Come on, Belisha, the point of this column is to present British cynicism at its most extreme, not optimism. Leave that to the Yanks. You’re letting the side down. There’s not a cat-in-hell’s chance a proper progressive can win in Kentucky.

For someone who claims to think a lot about politics, you aren’t half ignorant when it comes to, you know, politics. A progressive can win in Kentucky, but hasn’t in the recent past because every progressive has wet their pants at the thought of being true to themselves, and has run further and further to the right. So we end up with the kind of rubbish candidate that McConnell eats for breakfast. Besides, despite your posturing, we both agree a progressive can win in Louisville.

Like Ryan Fenwick? I’m totally on board with a tough primary challenge for Fischer from the left. So yeah, I reckon a proper progressive can win in Louisville, this year of all years. Leet won’t win shit, but Fischer endorsing the “Put More Black Kids in Jail Bill” was the final straw for me.

A bill so obvious in its intent it would embarrass David Duke. I’ve no idea what Fischer was thinking there.

Nice bloke, done a decent job, but presumably he did it because he doesn’t want Angela Leet getting the edge on him on being tough on crime. Rather than have that debate, he signed onto what amounts to little more than bring out your dead… but for black kids.

Right. Can you imagine that there are people who make a living flogging business strategy “ideas” to the prison industry? These oily bastards sit around in boardrooms and think of ways to put more people in prison and keep them in longer in exchange for profit. Some utter soulless cunt thought this up in one of those boardrooms, and Fischer signed on to it. If it’s not a fatal mistake, it fucking well ought to be.

I agree. Fenwick it is. But going full circle, I feel like Bill Murray is the shot in the arm this city needs, infinitely more than Fischer or Leet or even Fenwick. We need more smiles, less grimaces.

Nice try, Fezziwig, but if I had to choose between an evening watching the Cards sitting next to Bill Murray versus another Republican administration, I’d have to go with the “Handmaid’s Tale” ending on this one.

What a crock of shit. If anyone round here is soulless, it’s you.

This article appears in April 4, 2018.