Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best, & Most Absurd (3/25)

Rose: We are virtual geniuses!

Roses go to the rafts of creative Louisvillians who are taking their real lives and putting them online. Wait… that is just Facebook. No, these are yoga teachers, musicians, actors, comedians and even just people who have decided to spend their coronacation helping others. Like members of the Facebook group “My Friends Do Awesome Things. Let’s Learn From Them!!!”, which offers videos of… how to make Korean coffee, how to write a review, knot tying, gardening, “how to ground and cleanse your spiritual energy”… and on and on.

Rose: But can you buy a Corona?

Gov. Andy “nee Ned Flanders” Beshear made a list of what he deemed nonessential businesses that must shut for the duration. But guess which business gets to stay open because its service is essential? Liquor stores! Not to keep beating a beaten governor, but can you imagine what Matt Bevin would have done?

Thorn: Kentucky, Corona and… Guns!

And, then, in his executive order on businesses, Andy also says: “ … nothing in this Order should be construed to interfere with the lawful sale of firearms and ammunition.” Yee haw! Liquor and guns! How Kentucky is that? (Bevin would have handed out prayer guns.)

Rose: A monster of an idea

Speaking of creativity, we at LEO have always loved some Kaiju, the monster-themed bar that does much more than serve drinks. Now that bars are closed, Kaiju has switched it up like a Transformer — “Kaiju Bar is now Kaiju Grocery. We’re selling anything that isn’t bolted to the floor.” In a Facebook post, it said, in part: “We know a lot of our friends are hurting just as we are. Our hearts go out to you. We’re doing what we can to keep going like most of y’all.”

Thorn: But… can a virus get a virus?

Kentucky’s junior senator, Rand “Selfishness Embodied” Paul, a doctor who has obstructed coronavirus relief bills, has tested positive. Now we learn that before he knew the test results, he felt he was so special that he would not infect others. Jake Tapper from CNN tweeted that while Paul awaited to hear back, the petulant libertarian decided he would risk exposing his colleagues and others: “He felt fine, had no symptoms, and did not think he had coronavirus. He went about his daily life, including lunching with colleagues last week and going to the Senate gym this morning.” Surprise! He does have it! Maybe Paul will go to Canada to get treated. Maybe his neighbor will drive him!  We wonder whether he gave Donny a hug on the back nine!