I’ve attempted many things in my life — sustaining a weeklong cleansing, sticking to a budget, stopping a ground ball at third base, giving up cheese, and going to church — to no avail. I usually cave in to old habits, peer pressure or any opportunity for free beer. I figure there will be time to lose weight, save money, go to church and drink less when I’m older and wiser. And being a good softball player — well, I’ve just about given up on that altogether.
But this past weekend, I attempted something I never really believed in, had a blast taking a stab at it, and came out still a nonbeliever. This “something” is not surfing on a unicorn or leapfrogging a leprechaun — it’s the Bambi Walk, Louisville’s version of scaling Mt. Everest. Many try, most bail, few survive.
As it stands now, I just don’t think a pub crawl that purports to stop at every single bar along Bardstown Road and Baxter, starting at the Bambi Bar and ending at Phoenix Hill, is possible. You’d have to start so early in the day that a number of places would still be closed. And there are so many bars and restaurants scattered about the 3-mile stretch that you might need to check yourself directly into Betty Ford before passing Go or collecting $200 and bragging rights.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term pub crawl (also known as a “gin crawl,” “beer crawl” or “bohemian death march”) has been in use since the late 19th century. The largest one, which holds the Guinness World Record, took place in Maryborough, Queensland, Australia on June 14, 2009, and had 4,718 participants. If you’re a regular reader of my column, you know that I host my own crawl the second Saturday in September, called Gettin’ Drunky in KY, which is a segmented portion of the Bambi that goes in reverse (Outlook Inn to Bearno’s Highlands). But to accomplish a full Bambi — it’s impossible, I tell you.
But perhaps I’m taking things too literally. What if “Bambi Walk” is loosely used as a term for bar hopping in the Highlands? I’d be OK with that. No rules about stopping at every bar, no time limits, no pressure. And that’s sort of what my group did Saturday — we skipped a couple and even bailed early, but we managed to pack in eight stops in four hours. I was even joined by the “founder of the Bambi Walk,” Uncle Glenn Hubbuch, who says he and his buddies started it in the late ’70s as something to do when not swimming at Lakeside. Although he joined our caravan for only a short time, he had that look of a proud parent watching his offspring pedal away without the use of training wheels.
If you’ve completed the Bambi and lived to tell about it, I’d like to hear about your journey and ask you some hard-hitting questions — like: Are places like the Dundee Tavern and Back Door considered part of the Bambi Walk even though they aren’t technically on Bardstown Road?; and Do you stop at every restaurant with a liquor license, even places like Café Mimosa and Lilly’s? We as a forging city of the South need to determine if Bambi Walk is a noun or a verb. Is it a real milestone that seasoned drinkers can accomplish with enough discipline, or is it merely a verb that means to walk leisurely amongst the Highlands pubs?
Bar of the Week
I stopped by Sidebar (129 N. Second St.) earlier this week and discovered a cute, trendy little place that will be the perfect hangout before or after a game or concert downtown. Located between Bearno’s By The Bridge and Troll Pub, Sidebar has a simple menu of burgers and appetizers and a full bar with bartenders who know their cocktails. In fact, bartender Alexis Weber won this year’s Tale of the Horse drink competition around Derby. If you see a sassy redhead behind the bar, be sure to order the Vivacious Vixen.
Drunk Texts of the Week
• You cant stop true love, even with a scrotum removed
• Can I request to see your privates?
• If Im gonna be round, Im gonna be brown!
• Always say yes to a floater
Send your drunk texts to [email protected]. My blog is at barbelle.leoweekly.com. Word.