Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best & Most Absurd

Aug 2, 2017 at 12:06 pm
Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best & Most Absurd

#AskBevinAboutFreeSpeech  |  Thorn

It should take a judge fewer than 140 characters to tell Gov. Matt “Oblivious” Bevin that blocking dissenters on his official Facebook and Twitter pages violates free speech. Bevin is being sued over this.

Stop your car ‘splaining  |  Thorn

We at LEO are gearheads, so we love that the Street Rod Nationals are here this week. But along with gleaming cars, car part swaps and general gas-fueled gluttony will be... “Women’s World,” billed in an ad as a “giant arts and crafts fair.” Because, you know... women don’t like cars or even drive them.

This just in! no one can drive  |  Absurd

Speaking of not knowing how to drive cars... The Courier-Journal reported that no one here can drive a car. Seriously. In a story about our airport habits, the reporter wrote: “The best piece of news that may have come out of this report is that even though Louisville residents don’t know how to drive a car, they can queue through a security line quickly.” The paper seems to be taking its own jokes as fact now.

Calling all copywriters  |  Thorn

We are all for dogging U.S. Sen. Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell, but... a billboard is a terrible thing to waste. “You make us sick!” reads a new one on Interstate 65. “#DitchMitch2020 Kentucky Deserves Better.” We do deserve better than that. LEO’s marketing genius says the billboard is “just a vanity ad that, if anything, will re-galvanize support for McConnell from the right because he’s under attack from them-thar-city Libtards.” He added: “‘You Make Us Sick’ is the right tone to take when talking to the Right: It has to be visceral... faith, belief, hate, trust, anger, whatever...  but ‘telling’ them they ‘deserve better’ invites analysis, which isn’t a quality that tracks with how they process information, so that’s essentially a turn-off in messaging.” It should say: “Selling out at every turn. Whether it’s left or right.” Bloody brilliant.

Free to good home — an idea  |  Rose

The failed Doc’s Cantina group may be out.The CJ reported that the waterfront folks want new tenants. So we say: Forget about filling that 8,000-square-foot space with one business. Give us a year-round market with smaller eateries and stalls with produce and meat. Give us a Findlay Market!