Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best, & Most Absurd

Mar 4, 2020 at 11:07 am
kentucky masks

Thorn: littering = lynching, Tommy?

What other state than Kentucky is home to so many wing nut politicians? Matt Bevin. Mitch McConnell. Rand Paul. Jim Bunning... A special straitjacket must be reserved for U.S. Rep. Thomas Massie, who was one of only four congressmen to vote against making lynching a federal hate crime. “I voted against (the bill) because the Constitution specifies only a handful of federal crimes, and leaves the rest to individual states to prosecute,” Massie told The Courier Journal. “In addition, this bill expands current federal ‘hate crime’ laws. A crime is a crime, and all victims deserve equal justice. Adding enhanced penalties for ‘hate’ tends to endanger other liberties such as freedom of speech.” WTF? Tommy, a crime is not a crime. Some crimes are worse than others. Shooting someone because of their race is worse than shooting someone to steal their Rolex.

Thorn: KY + tobacco? It’s complicated

We found an interesting detail at the end of a CJ story about the House passing a bill to hike taxes on vaping and other non-cigarette items: “Rep. Attica Scott, D-Louisville, voted against the bill, saying it didn’t make sense to exclude cigarettes from an additional tax increase on tobacco products.” She’s right. Why not stop all smoking? Gov. Andy Beshear wants to raise cig taxes by 10 cents. Doesn’t look like there’s support for that. This January alone, tobacco king Altria lobbyists spent $31,631, The CJ reported. In 2018, lawmakers amended a bill to raise cig taxes by $1, choosing instead a 50-cent hike. Meanwhile, Senate Bill 124 would designate “the Garrard County Tobacco Cutting Contest as the official state tobacco cutting contest.”

Absurd: LMPD — Take my meth... Please!

Louisville police said on Facebook that it had seized meth “laced” with coronavirus, and it wants to help all you tweakers out there. “We want you to be safe, always. That’s why we’re willing to test your meth, free of charge!” Just bring to the cop shop, where “an officer will take it from there. Don’t take a chance with this new form of meth “MethRona” or “Coroneth,” the police implored. And, then the punch line: “#IssaJoke”

Thorn: Which seems more important?

A CJ front page last week had just two stories, one of them about three Louisville babies who were born on a leap day decades ago. Buried inside the paper was a story on how the coronavirus is affecting UPS, you know — the city’s largest employer — and, well, the rest of us: “UPS said Friday it’s experiencing declining demand and disruptions to supply chains as a result of the deadly coronavirus.”  Now, that’s news to leap over!