The Video Tapeworm

Oct 21, 2008 at 11:31 pm

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 20TH ANNIVERSARY BOX SET 2008; $69.95, UR MSTies are no doubt rejoicing to hear that Rhino Records (having become rather stale of late) no longer represents MST3K — future releases will come from Shout! Factory, which is much more in tune with their bad-movie zeitgeist. The first offering is this four-disc set, housed in a collectible tin complete with a Crow T. Robot figurine, lobby cards and more. The movies — selected by a fan poll — are “First Spaceship on Venus,” “Laserblast,” “Werewolf” and “Future War,” plus all-new music featurettes and interviews with the MST cast. POULTRYGEIST: NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN DEAD 2007; $29.95, UR Oh man! We laughed our asses off! Lloyd Kaufman, president of Troma Studios and creator of the Toxic Avenger, wrote and directed this savagely funny musical ode to rotter movies that has to be seen to be believed. When a fast-food joint builds its latest franchise on unholy ground, the unquiet spirits take their revenge on diners by turning them into … chicken zombies! And only a dim-witted counter-monkey, his lesbian ex and a burqa-clad fry cook can save us. The puns are too good to spoil here, but the three-disc Eggs-clusive Limited Edition includes the doc “Poultry in Motion: Truth is Stranger than Chicken” — and only 15,000 individually numbered DVDs will be pressed. <>
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO: THE COMPLETE UNIVERSAL PICTURES COLLECTION 2008; $119.95, UR Halle-friggin-lujah! All 28 A&C Universal titles in a single, fabulous box set! Which ones, you ask? Why only such gems as “Buck Privates,” “A&C Meet Frankenstein,” “Hold that Ghost,” “Pardon My Sarong,” “Little Giant” (one of our personal faves) and “A&C Go to Mars” — along with a Susquehanna-hat full of bonus goodies on 15 discs. Everything from “Who’s on First?” to “Two Tens for a Five” to “Mustard,” at less than $5 a movie! What a time to be alive. DEAD SPACE: DOWNFALL 2008; $26.95-$34.95, UR Vid-gamers are already drooling over this much-anticipated feature-length animated flick based on Electronic Arts’ new horror blockbuster shoot-’em-up franchise, scheduled to drop on Halloween night. Far out in space, a ship’s crew uncovers a mystical relic relating directly to God. But when it triggers the release of bloodthirsty alien spirits, turning them into ravaging zombie-like mutating life forms, the few survivors must fight to escape. DR. QUINN, MEDICINE WOMAN: THE COMPLETE SERIES MEGASET 1993; $229.95, UR Sexy little Jane Seymour starred in this corny, chaste TV bodice-ripping Oater with Joe Lando as the would-be rippee, but the real treat for us was watching the amazing Orson Bean as “Loren Bray.” Blacklisted for his radical politics in the 1950s, he most recently played the 105-year-old doctor on “Being John Malkovich” and was absolutely hilarious as a cuckold husband with a hot young trophy wife on “Two and a Half Men.” HANK AND MIKE 2007; $26.95, R If you buy only one blue-collar tale of pissed-off, unemployed ex-Easter Bunnies this year, make it this one! Thomas Michael and Paolo Mancini are the titular fuzzy pink-clad lads of Easter Inc., who get downsized when their holiday is cut back to enhance profits for the multinational conglomerate who owns it. So they go to a strip club and get hammered. Trust us, this is a hoot. HOUDINI’S DEATH DEFYING ACTS 2007; $19.95, UR Here’s one that escaped notice: Harry Houdini (Guy Pearce), on a tour of Britain in 1926, has a passionate boink-fest with psychic Catherine Zeta-Jones — in reality a con-woman out to fleece him. With Saoirse Ronan (“Atonement”) as CZJ’s street-smart daughter, Benji. And, no, we’re not making that up. JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH 2008; $19.95-$35.95, PG Brendan Fraser spits on the audience in 3-D — and you are there! No plot to speak of, but tons of scary things to run from — dinosaurs, trilobites, lava, logic, character development — in this colorful and mindless vid-game/theme-park outing for the younger set. Available in 2-D, 3-D and Blu-Ray 3-D. NEWSRADIO: THE COMPLETE SERIES 1995; $59.95, UR Four years, 15 discs, 97 episodes. For less than 62 cents a week? Possibly the greatest video deal ever! Surely everyone remembers this wonderful, wacky and original sitcom that was just too good for network TV. The “Scrubs” of the ’90s, it starred Dave Foley, Stephen Root as the station owner, Andy Dick, Maura Tierney and the late and much-missed Phil Hartman. SANFORD AND SON: THE COMPLETE SERIES 1972; $59.95, UR Another great complete-series boxed set, this one featuring the incomparable Redd Foxx in his signature role as the irascible, cantankerous, lecherous old coot, Fred G. — insert your favorite “the G stands for” joke here — Sanford, master of his junkyard domain and constant embarrassment to his upper-class-wannabe son, Lamont (Demond Wilson). Rumor has it that a “Sanford and Son” movie is scheduled for 2010, you big dummy. THE FLINTSTONES: THE COMPLETE SERIES 2008; $129.95, UR WTF? Yeah, you read that right! All 166 episodes of Fred, Barney, Wilma and Betty, from Sept. 30, 1960, through April 1, 1966, including the highest-rated TV event ever (as of 1963), the birth of Pebbles! Twenty-four discs in cool Bedrock packaging. ZOMBIE STRIPPERS! 2008; $24.95-38.95, R/UR With porn legend Jenna Jameson and Robert “Freddy” Englund, we’re tempted to ask: “What else could you want to know?” But the truth is, for a floppy-titty gore-fest, this is damn funny — and filled with socio-political commentary, no less! With Roxy Saint, red-haired temptress Penny Drake and blonde Amazon-babe Jennifer Holland. OTHER DVDS OF INTEREST CARLOS MENCIA: PERFORMANCE ENHANCED 2008; $19.95, UR CATHOUSE: THE SERIES 2008; $29.95, UR GOOD TIMES: THE COMPLETE SERIES 1974; $59.95, UR THE DONNA REED SHOW: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON 1958; $39.95, UR THE L-WORD: THE COMPLETE FIFTH SEASON 2008; $55.95, UR WITCHBLADE BOX SET 2008; $79.95, UR
A more complete listing and free vids at
BUDDY: CAN WE PUT A BOX AROUND THIS??? Hulkin’ Halloween Video Contest! We’ve got a bag full of video-goodies to give away, including 10 “Incredible Hulk” three-disc sets (PG-13) courtesy of the fine folks at Universal Studios. There’s no real trick here, just visit GOTOBUTTON BM_3_ — the World’s Largest-Smelling Guide to Video — to register for the drawing. What a treat! Plus, we’ve scared up some “Goosebumps,” a few R-rated horrors and even Care Bears vids for the wee-ones, so everyone can have a smashing good time on the couch this Halloween. ’Nuff said?