The Bar Belle: Hangovers & Resolutions

Dec 28, 2007 at 6:51 pm

Why do hangovers get worse the older you get? It should be the opposite. At 21, your body was new to processing cheap vodka and piss-ass beer. But you got right up after two hours of sleep and made it to your 8 a.m. class. No problem. Maybe you skipped a shower, but that A in astronomy was well earned. And even to this day you can recall all nine (or is it eight now?) planets.

    But now. Things. Are. Quite. Different. Two glasses of wine and you’re hitting the snooze button more than six times. Four beers and you’ve got the head-spins and dry sockets the next day. Hell, you don’t even do shots anymore! What gives? Your liver should be excelling at its game — not fumbling on every carry.

    At, they recommend everything from bananas to Midol to Gatorade. I’ve personally found that a late-night snack at Twig & Leaf consisting of mashed potatoes with brown gravy softens the blow, as does a McDonald’s value meal the next day. Still, the older you are, the harder you fall — and it takes longer to get up.

    I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions, but it makes good column fodder, I suppose. Here are some that come to mind: 1) Leave with the ones who brought you. 2) No more drunk dialing and/or texting. 3) No more than two sidecars (bourbon on the rocks) a night. 4) No bourbon on weeknights. 5) No more stumbling over to the Pink Door from Dundee Tavern alone and scaring the owners. 6) Be adventurous — hang out at new places. 7) Stop repeating your stories. 8) Drink to have fun, not to forget. 9) Pay it forward — buy drinks for your friends more often. 10) Don’t give your number to strangers … it’s annoying to screen calls when you’re sober.

Got any resolutions of your own? Any bars I should check out? Want me to buy you a beer? Drop me a line at [email protected] or check out