Life in the age of coronavirus: no, really, please stay home

Mar 18, 2020 at 12:46 pm
please stay home

First and foremost, we Introverts have had it right well before the Age of Corona came down upon us. Other People are gross generally for any number of reasons, giving Introverts an ethos of Social Distancing as their default. I’m not saying that the Introverts have been right all along, but I am saying you can fill in the blank for yourself. I would dance in the streets if Social Distancing was made mandatory. Actually, I would follow instructions and stay home instead.

Right now, everything is fine. Everything is OK.

Everyone’s allergies are just starting to bother them, too, because this is Louisville, and everything is just starting to bloom, but one of you isn’t experiencing springtime allergies. Maybe two of you. Maybe 2,000 of you, for all we know, since testing for the virus is too low to accurately determine how many people have it already and just aren’t showing symptoms.

Gov. Andy Beshear’s actions, thus far, have been the best actions that anyone could have taken in the absence of other leadership. His observation as someone with parents in their 70s that everyone needs to stay home even if they don’t feel unwell is the best guidance the Commonwealth could ask for.

Hopefully, everyone is on the same page now that the Sears catalogue on the back of the toilet tank has regained relevance, and we’re all embracing this concept of Social Distancing for the Greater Good. Yes? OK, good. Were you able to find everything you needed at the smaller place, opposed to everything that was panic bought out from Buy ‘n’ Large? OK, good.

Now that we’ve established that everyone should be an Introvert like Introverts were doing all along, let’s dig deeper. This is the point that everyone ought to ask themselves, as newly born Introverts but still members of the Human Community, the following two questions: How can I help and what do you need?

The answer to the first question is fairly simple. Please stay home. Everyone can absolutely stay home for their own health and wellbeing and everyone else’s health and wellbeing. So, immune-compromised persons stay home as Introverts already do, let alone in the middle of a pandemic.

Please stay home. Read a book. Read a book to your kids, if you have them. Write a book. Write a book for your kids. Hang out with your kids and your family but please stay home while you’re doing it. No movies, no malls, no parks, no playgrounds, please just stay home. I would even encourage the readership to stay away from the library, but they’re already closed.

A second answer is taken from the great sage Sylvia Walters. If you have found yourself on a break from work or school, keep an eye on the neighborhood children because their parents may still have to work. Be your Brother and Sister’s keeper for the right reasons during these interesting times.

The third answer to this question that ought to be the first is Wash. Your. Hands. Soap and water is the most effective way to keep germs from spreading. It doesn’t have to be fancy or antibacterial soap, just soap and running water.

The first answer to the question “what do you need?” is support your local businesses. Buy a gift card or two as quickly as possible for when we all can be Extroverts again, or at least limitedly in my case. Buy ‘n’ Large will survive this storm just fine because it already accrued worth that will sustain it, but local places cannot do the same.

The second answer to the same question is: Every musician out there ought to set up a live feed with their Venmo information. Even as Introverts, we all live a world with a Ray Bradbury toy in our pockets that connects us all together where we can all watch each others art as Introverts. There are concerts and albums to make during this Age of Corona; as the same with novels and words.

The third answer to this question that ought to be the first is, again, Please. Wash. Your. Hands. As Introverts tend to work, these are interesting but exciting times since now all the Introverts from the start have enough time on their hands to write and the Social Distance to be left alone to work.

Keep in mind that Shakespeare wrote “King Lear” during the Plague, as Isaac Newton figured out gravity and early calculus during the same event. While I am not saying that something that critical will come out of all of this, I am saying that in light of the accuracy of Introversion and Social Distancing in action, one can only hope.

Heidi Taylor is an MFA candidate of Poetry at Spalding University.