Gov. Bevin makes adoption straight again

May 17, 2017 at 10:38 am
Southern Baptist Seminary

Nice work if you can get it, eh?

If you mean being forced to endure your excruciating chatter twice a month, it’s not nice work. In fact, it’s the worst gig on the planet. But presumably that’s not what you’re referring to.

No, I was referring to our esteemed guv’nor handing out just under a quarter-of-a-mil to his mate over at the Southern Baptist Seminary, that temple of gullibility, to take a butcher’s at our states adoption process: to become Adoption Czar, no less, a word Republican politicians would be well advised to use less frequently.

A cushy little deal, even by Bevin’s standards.

Tough one, though; you can’t claim Bevin doesn’t care about adoption. Hasn’t he adopted three or four kids himself? On that front, he walks the walk.

You gormless son of Rahab. What Bevin cares about is his religious bona fides — it’s got little to do with caring about kids growing up in a stable environment. The fact that he’s adopted is neither here nor there, because what his soon-to-be-Cadillac-driving chum over at the Southern Baptists is going to do is make adoption harder, not easier.

So you’re saying that Bevin is going to spend all of that dosh to be told that adoption must be made easier for straight people who believe in fairy tales?

No shite, Sherlock. Of course he is, and he’ll put it all in a nice report that’ll make Bevin feel justified. He’s just an even-more-extreme example of every believer on the planet: a rudderless soul looking for some sort of soul-forgiving bromide. He just happens to be at the overtly homophobic end of the spectrum.

That’s a bit stiff, innit? Are you calling all believers navel-gazing haters?

That’s not what I said. Here’s another thing. I noticed that the contract Bevin gave his mate’s company, the one he registered like a week before the bidding process began — which it didn’t because there was no bidding process, but whatever — includes a bonus of up to 20 percent. How the fuck does a contract like this include scope for a bonus?

Presumably for saying what Bevin wants to hear? Which we’ve already done, in succinct, LEO-friendly language. So maybe he can just send us a check for 48 grand?

I won’t hold my breath. Look, adoption is tough on parents who want to adopt, but that’s for very good reasons. Like any system, adoption is open to abuse, and for the sake of kids who need a good home we have a vested interest in making it tough. Not impossible, but tough.

Like standing up to Trump, as our two venerable senators have done so admirably?

Standing up requires a spine, hence their inability to do so. McConnell, well, no shock there — there is no more practiced Machiavelli in Congress. Especially since Trump was kind enough to give his sketchy missus a job.

But Paul? An amazing fall from being a mildly-interesting-if-decidedly-creepy outsider to being the president’s lickspittle.

Trump needs toadeaters from states that’ll never send them to Traitor’s Gate, no matter how much they deserve it. And make no mistake, my old plum, they all deserve it. Part of me thinks Trump owns them all, the other that they’re desperate to be rid of him.

The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Like being forced into a life of harlotry by your pimp. Too late to get out but desperately want freed from the hell the two of you have created.

Perfectly summed up. At least the French stood up for decency.

Comme d’habitude, mon ami. People forget that France won much of its recent hatred on this side of the pond for refusing to join in Dick Cheney’s Iraq folly. You’d think more people would remember that. Also important to remember that when faced with the choice between a fascist candidate and a not-fascist candidate, more than a third still pumped for the fascist.

Depressing, but still fewer than did the same thing here. France wins, again and as usual.

While anyone driving for Uber loses, apparently, even on Derby night.

Makes me wonder why anyone uses Uber, never mind signs up to be a driver. The sharing economy is a total scam. Share your stuff with a corporation, then sit back as they roll in your hard-earned.

Who would’ve thought that a company run by a nauseating frat boy, the kind of bloke Tinder would have reservations about, would be anything other than a stand-up for honesty, decency and fair treatment of workers? I feel for the drivers, but man, how did they not see this coming?

So yeah, you’re off the hook. Getting ripped off by Uber while some drunken gobshite wipes muddy Wellies all over your motor is probably the worst gig on the planet.