GLI's trip to Austin, scam or investment?...and Gov. Blevins as diet Trump

Sep 21, 2016 at 2:04 pm
GLI's trip to Austin, scam or investment?...and Gov. Blevins as diet Trump

Cor blimey guv’nah. Jobs for the boys, ain’t it?

Stop the excruciating Dick Van Dyke shtick immediately, or I’ll see to it that you spend the rest of your life stuck up a chimney. You aren’t fooling me. But you know what is? That phrase could apply to just about every corporation and civic body in this city. What the fuck are you prattling on about?

Greater Louisville Inc. is jobs for the boys. Taking a posse of local captains of industry — meaning assorted buddies and hangers-on — to Austin to learn that Louisville isn’t a super-charged economic and cultural metropolis is a straight-up scam. I could’ve told them that and saved them a whole bunch of time, effort and money. Apart from the fact that we already have more than enough hipsters, for all of our liberal airs this city is as conservative as they come. Nothing’s going to turn Louisville into Austin.

I beg to differ, at least in terms looking elsewhere to learn what we can do better. How can anyone hope to improve this city if they’re not going to try to learn from cities that are innovating and growing? God knows we could do better when it comes to attracting better businesses and improving quality of life. Not that Louisville isn’t a great place, but it could be a whole lot better. And, at least as far as GLI’s concerned, they’ve stopped making more PR gaffes than Prince Phillip on a visit to China. 

Can you set the bar any lower? I haven’t messed anything up recently, does that mean I get a gold star? Surely GLI can do better than spending a ton of dosh on a jolly just to hear about how fabulous Austin is. The last time GLI “learned” anything, Louisville ended up forking out for a new basketball arena that UofL uses as a stick to beat taxpayers with. If this results in anything meaningful, I’ll eat my hat.

As usual, your opinion comes wearing a dunce’s hat. Change is a gradual, long-term process. I don’t agree with a lot of GLI’s positions, foremost its cynical and provincial money-centric business-at-the-expense-of-all-other-life-forms ethos, but that trip to Austin wasn’t a jolly. Most of the big chiefs who went paid their own way. And while I am generally not a huge fan of people who spend most of their time schmoozing, you can’t claim Kent Oyler hasn’t done what he was asked to do when he was hired.

I’m not claiming that; just that the gravy train driven by Oyler’s predecessors is still very much on the tracks. If it really was about making Louisville a more innovative city they’d go to Helsinki or Singapore or Auckland. But to do that would be to admit that foreign cities might be doing things better, an admission that’s about as popular as a busload of Syrian refugee families at Norton Commons. Anyway, speaking of clueless white minorities, still feeling confident that Blevins won’t be impeached?

Yep. Shorter odds on you winning the Nobel Prize for Literature. And did you just call him Blevins? 

I did indeed. My guess is that he’s the kind of person who reads every word written about him, even those written in the pages of LEO. I keep on seeing people call him that, and I bet it irritates the crap out of him. So I’m going to run with it.

OK then, even I can’t argue with that kind of logic. But as I said last time, he isn’t going to get impeached. Frankly, short of admitting that Kid Rock is crap, I don’t think there’s anything Republican leaders can say that’ll get them into trouble with the baying rural mob — certainly not calling for violent insurrection. Very few things excite the average Christian Republican voter quite like the prospect of going on a killing spree.

True though that undoubtedly is, it’s a little different this time. One thing to claim that Mexicans are rapists, quite another to call for armed revolt if Clinton wins in November. The Feds take that kind of shit seriously, or at least in theory they do. And kudos to Nancy Jo Kemper for displaying the sort of balls that make Colin Kaepernick look like an arse-kissing toadeater. None of her male Democrat peers appear to have the cojones to hold Blevins accountable.

Rubbish. She hasn’t even been elected yet, and when you’re a Democrat candidate in Kentucky you can say whatever you like, safe in the knowledge you’re not going to win an election. Bevin’ll worm his way out of it. Besides, he only did it to endear himself with a gang of bloodthirsty religious cocksplats and make a name for himself to further his national political ambitions. 

What a thought that is. Trump followed by Diet Trump. Fancy moving back to Blighty? •