That joke isn’t funny anymore

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Will. Isn’t he great? Don’t you just love seeing seasoned semi-professionals at these open-mic events? You’d think they’d have rules against such a thing, you know, like with the Olympics or college sports: If... Read More ›

California dreaming

A couple weeks ago, I told you about a video I had seen at a year-end gathering of the Media Club at Bloom Elementary. Thereafter, I received a note from Patrick Fitzgerald, the parent adviser of the group, thanking me... Read More ›

Palimpsest

Everybody knows that times are tough. Nobody has any money, and the cost of living is climbing. The unions are getting busted, and the middle class is disappearing. This creates a significant problem on the municipal level. Our elected officials... Read More ›

Mellow my mind

As a writer, I recognize the importance of clarity. I try to use the simplest words to express my ideas. A recent survey of my vernacular revealed that I use the same 487 words almost exclusively. I suppose that makes... Read More ›

Love is a rose

The monster got away. I had walked up to the store out on the state road, and I was gone for a couple hours. It had never been a problem before. He would always sleep during the day, but sure... Read More ›

I’ll never fall in love again

I originally wrote this for the April Fool’s Day “Fake Issue,” but it got cut, so I had to rewrite it for this ordinary, “real” issue. Of course, in that my grip on the distinction between “real” and “fake” has... Read More ›

Hear the wind blow

You have such a nice home. It’s always so interesting to see the spaces in which people live. Thank you. When you were in the other room, I was looking around and imagining what it would be like to live... Read More ›

I’ll be around

My neighbors got a divorce. He started putting his stuff in storage last fall, and then he moved away. Then the neighbor on the other side of their house passed away, and a real estate company came and bought his... Read More ›

All This Useless Beauty/Lost in Space

In my capacity as a counselor to fictional characters, I have heard some pretty crazy stories. I wish I could share all of them with you, but confidentiality is a cruel mistress, and I don’t want to lose my license.... Read More ›