That joke isn’t funny anymore

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Will. Isn’t he great? Don’t you just love seeing seasoned semi-professionals at these open-mic events? You’d think they’d have rules against such a thing, you know, like with the Olympics or college sports: If... Read More ›

California dreaming

A couple weeks ago, I told you about a video I had seen at a year-end gathering of the Media Club at Bloom Elementary. Thereafter, I received a note from Patrick Fitzgerald, the parent adviser of the group, thanking me... Read More ›


Everybody knows that times are tough. Nobody has any money, and the cost of living is climbing. The unions are getting busted, and the middle class is disappearing. This creates a significant problem on the municipal level. Our elected officials... Read More ›

Mellow my mind

As a writer, I recognize the importance of clarity. I try to use the simplest words to express my ideas. A recent survey of my vernacular revealed that I use the same 487 words almost exclusively. I suppose that makes... Read More ›

Love is a rose

The monster got away. I had walked up to the store out on the state road, and I was gone for a couple hours. It had never been a problem before. He would always sleep during the day, but sure... Read More ›

I’ll never fall in love again

I originally wrote this for the April Fool’s Day “Fake Issue,” but it got cut, so I had to rewrite it for this ordinary, “real” issue. Of course, in that my grip on the distinction between “real” and “fake” has... Read More ›

Hear the wind blow

You have such a nice home. It’s always so interesting to see the spaces in which people live. Thank you. When you were in the other room, I was looking around and imagining what it would be like to live... Read More ›

I’ll be around

My neighbors got a divorce. He started putting his stuff in storage last fall, and then he moved away. Then the neighbor on the other side of their house passed away, and a real estate company came and bought his... Read More ›

All This Useless Beauty/Lost in Space

In my capacity as a counselor to fictional characters, I have heard some pretty crazy stories. I wish I could share all of them with you, but confidentiality is a cruel mistress, and I don’t want to lose my license.... Read More ›