WEB EXCLUSIVE: A chat with the Transvestite Witch of the South

‘The Roast of Dorothy’ set for Friday, Jan. 25

Jan 23, 2013 at 6:00 am
WEB EXCLUSIVE: A chat with the Transvestite Witch of the South

If the roasts from the “Young, Dumb, and Full of Comedy” crew haven’t lambasted your childhood or your sense of morality enough yet, wait until the lights go down on this one. The target this time is Dorothy — yes, that Dorothy, the one with the cute puppy who likes to follow yellow brick roads wherever they might lead.

Of course, all of the usual suspects will be there to roast her: The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion and The Scarecrow. But lesser-known citizens of Oz will show up, as well. One sat down with us to talk about the upcoming roast: Glen/Glenda, the Transvestite Witch of the South (who happens to look somewhat like local comedian Will Hardesty), had a few things to say. She has often been left out of various accounts of Dorothy’s journey through Oz, but for such a dubious honor, they are even bringing her out for the festivities.

LEO: Welcome out of exile …
Glen/Glenda: Well, it’s about time, I’ll tell you that.

LEO: Tell me a little about South Oz.
Glen/Glenda: Honestly, there’s not much there. All the cool places — Emerald City, the Yellow Brick Road — are up north. All we have are trailer parks and munchkin meth labs.

LEO: How come we’ve never heard about you before?
Glen/Glenda: It was 1939 — there was no way MGM was gonna include a cross-dressing witch. Plus, they were only offering scale, and I don’t work for minimum wage.

LEO: Did you ever get the scarecrow drunk and give him some brain?
Glen/Glenda: Ugh! What a horrible thing to ask! I’ll have you know I’m respectable. Plus, straw tastes awful.

LEO: Who’s a better kisser, Dorothy or Toto?
Glen/Glenda: I don’t have any personal experience, but, if rumors are true, Dorothy uses more tongue …

LEO: Does the Emerald City have a red light district? And, if so, what goes on there?
Glen/Glenda: Emerald City is a red light district, if you follow me.

LEO: Which of your sisters is the sluttiest?
Glen/Glenda: First of all, they’re not my sisters. Not by blood. We’re more like “sistahs.” And they’re all whores. I mean, they’re willing to kill over a pair of shoes, for Christ’s sake.

LEO: When that tornado dropped a house on one of them, did your trailer fair safely?
Glen/Glenda: Hey, we don’t all live like backwoods hicks! That’s one of the awful stereotypes people use to keep us down. South Oz is a place of unique culture and proud traditions. And yes, my trailer was fine.

LEO: So ... can you explain the flying monkeys to me?
Glen/Glenda: Let’s just say monkeys aren’t too picky about their mates and bats get drunk real easily. Oz is a seriously weird place.

LEO: Would you consider yourself a Warwitch or a Witchlock?
Glen/Glenda: I consider myself a Goddess.

LEO: Do you think it’s time for the Wizard to start driving special interest groups out of Emerald City?
Glen/Glenda: I don’t follow politics. What’s the point? You know, the Wizard got to be in charge because he had a big booming voice and a giant projected head. When your electoral system is based on who has the best home theater equipment, it’s really hard to care.

‘The Roast of Dorothy’
Friday, Jan. 25
The Bard’s Town
1801 Bardstown Road
$10; 10 p.m.