Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best and Most Absurd (5/13)

Thorn: If it is social, is it socialism?!

Gov. Andy is allowing restaurants to reopen at a third capacity May 22 with unlimited, properly spaced outdoor seating. Unfortunately, we bet most people stay home, and the ones who don’t, well — they probably think social distancing is socialism distancing. Some restaurateurs are saying they will not reopen because they do not believe it is safe (and a third-capacity is not fi nancially tenable).

Rose: Steal this idea, Louisville!

Cincinnati is closing streets and lanes in 25 areas to allow restaurants more outdoor seating. Get on it, Mayor Greg!

Rose: Don’t feel bad…you earned it.

We guess all y’all are listening to Gov. Andy. Kentucky has ranked No. 1 in the nation for the percentage of its workforce that submitted new jobless claims, according to Fitch Ratings. “For the week ending May 7, claims as a percentage labor force ranged from a high of approximately 33% for the commonwealth of Kentucky, to a low of approximately 8% for South Dakota.” Gov. Andy’s mantra is: There is no stigma in filing for public assistance.

Thorn: Jump? How high?

Because he has to look like he is busy, Attorney General Daniel Cameron joined other state AGs to call on Congress “to investigate the communist Chinese government’s role in the COVID-19 pandemic.” The “communist” one, not the other one. Hey, here’s an idea, Daniel: Why not spend y(our) time investigating something that matters to Kentucky and is not a party-line deflection of tRump’s bungling of the pandemic response?

Absurd: Gov. Andy, get stronger ‘water.’

U.S. Sen. Rand Paul accused Gov. Andy of being “drunk with power.” Gov. Andy’s comeback was: “I promise you this is water,” he said, referring to his travel mug. That’s the best you can do?! How about what we all are thinking: “Shut the fuck up, Rand, you bag of hair!” Gov. Andy needs a better writer and certainly stronger “water.”

Rose: ‘Hard to handle, easy to love.’

La Bamba, “burritos as big as your head,” has finally and mercifully reopened in fancy, new digs on Bardstown Road. And it looks like it saved that surreal, trippy painting!