Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best & Most Absurd (4/22)

Absurd: Bevin now has 10 children?

Like a “Jerry Springer” show guest on acid, Gov.-reject Matt Bevin made a rumor public by denying on Twitter that he cheated on his wife and fathered a child with his former press secretary. “Let me be perfectly clear… The vulgar and slanderous lies being spread about me and my family and others by the partisan hacks on this Twitter feed are reprehensible and utterly baseless.” He was replying to KPJ @ kypoljunkie’s tweet. Bevin wrote:  “My wife and I have been faithfully married to one another for 24 years and counting, and for all of you nitwits to slander her and my family in this way is disgusting… Shame on you!” KPJ claimed to have “pretty solid news from a solid source” and tweeted: “No one is slandering your wife. That makes zero sense.”

Thorn: not a good day for gop losers

Republican state Rep. Robert Goforth, who lost to Bevin in the primary, was arrested on domestic violence-related charges, including felony strangulation. He was among lawmakers who voted in 2019 to make felony strangulation a crime. In an op-ed, he had pledged he would “restore respectful, responsive leadership that delivers positive results for our state.”  

Absurd: Too much togetherness

You and your rug rats will be stuck with each other 24-7 at least until the next school year. Gov. Andy has asked schools to close for the rest of the school year. No arguing with the reasoning, but… what will you do with the little monsters after you have baked your trillionth cookie with them? Maybe… Kentucky Kingdom has the answer…

Thorn: Kentucky CoronaKingdom?

Some people are hanging on to the belief that this bad dream will evaporate by summer. Kentucky Kingdom says it plans to reopen in June, WLKY reported. “Hurricane Bay water park is a great spot for families to cool off during hot summer evenings,” President and CEO Ed Hart said.

Thorn: Wasn’t this happening already?

What else is the state doing in the name of the coronavirus? Kentucky is allowing waste haulers to landfill your chicken bones and whatnot with items otherwise set aside for recycling when not superseded by city or county rules. WFPL reports Louisville is not doing that.

Absurd: All gassed up with no place to go

The cruel irony… The average price for unleaded self-serve gas in Louisville was $1.675 a gallon, the AAA East Central says.