Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best and Most Absurd (10/10)

The cursed council district  |  Absurd 

Poor residents of South End council District 21. First, it gets pants-dropping Dan Johnson. Now, Metro Councilman Vitalis Lanshima denies that he has ignored the district while running for office in… Nigeria. You, know — on another continent. He had missed all council meetings since Aug. 14, the Democratic council spokesman told the Courier Journal. We bet that Democrat Nicole George beats Republican Bret Shultz in November… and will manage to keep her pants from dropping and attend all council meetings.

Louisville magazine, making journalism ‘50s again  |  Thorn  

Louisville Magazine’s cover asks: “Does Mayor Fischer Deserve a Third Term?” The best we get for an answer is a Q&A with him and a profile of Republican challenger Angela Leet. Here’s our question LouMag: Why does Leet’s story include so much about her appearance? (Fischer’s was not mentioned in the Q&A.) Her “blond, curled hair rests on a pink shirt, accented with a silver pendant necklace,” her “French-manicured hands on the wheel,” her “navy, chunky-heeled Tod’s sandals” and “[b]right teal polish.” This is LouMag under new ownership?

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CJ print edition twilight zone  |  Thorn 

The CJ’s front-page story on two galoots accused of stealing brass urns from a local cemetery. A front-page advertise… uh, we mean, story on swanky condos and apartments downtown. A story screaming across the top of the front page about a local man named Brett Kavanagh (no U in his name, we learn in the 537-word jump). And a 1A about how competition drives down grocery prices (!). All stories, but on the front page? Submitted for your approval: A newspaper works to kill the paper part but still calls itself… a paper.

More proof we’re in end times  |  Absurd 

Overheard at ValuMarket in The Highlands, this exchange between stockers:
“Hey man, did you get the text message from the president?”
“What text message?”
“The president… He sent everyone a text message. It’s so he can tell us if there’s a terrorist attack.”
“Dude…”
“I told you, man. He’s like the most technological president ever!”

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