I saw some whales last week. Real ones, in the ocean. Pretty amazing.

Nothing to brag about. Those private-pool liberal impostors at Lakeside see one every time you strip off down to your Speedos. A quite repulsive sight, I’m sure.

Your wife doesn’t mind it.

Nice try, Moby, but I know my wife pretty well, and I’m confident that the sight of quivering, pasty, white blubber doesn’t ring her bell.

She should run for governor. Anyone who can put up with you for more than five minutes ought to have the patience to deal with Frankfort. Beshear, though. What do you make of it?

Hardly a shock. But it depends on who runs on the Republican ticket. He can probably beat a no-name Republican, but I’m not sure he can beat an entrenched populist like Bevin. Damn, here I am in vague agreement with that todger from the Pegasus “Institute” whom the CJ sees fit to publish. Strange times.

Bevin is pretty good at hoodwink politics — persuading people to vote to end their Medicare and food stamps because the other bloke’s dad did some questionable things. It’s fucking bonkers, but it’s true. Besides, I expect only a tiny minority of Kentucky residents actually understand the role of state A.G., so they just see Beshear as a litigation-happy thorn in Bevin’s side. Which he is. But that’s also his job when the governor insists on treating governing as something that happens outside the law.

Beshear has to run hard on policy, not on Bevin. Assuming Bevin runs, his entire campaign against Beshear will be about Steve, not Andy. Andy has to ignore that and talk about health, education and bringing people out of poverty, and remember that his dad was popular enough to win here twice. Doable, but tough with as much target-rich baggage as he’s carrying. Plus he doesn’t enjoy the advantage of sounding like a backwoods preacher with a mouthful of marbles the way Steve does.

Personally, I’m all for Attica Scott to run. That’ll probably give heart palpitations to every Democrat strategist in the state — if there are any — who’ll rise up in chorus and say that she can’t win.

The same Democrat strategists that told Conway and Grimes that in order to win in Kentucky they had to run as milquetoast Republicans? Those strategists? I like Attica as a candidate, and I think it’d be great to see someone run on the Democrat ticket who’s unafraid of being an actual Democrat. She should do it. I’m not sure she knows much about policymaking — or, you know, real politics — but who the hell in government does in this country?

And she has exactly the kind of background and empathetic skills that might appeal outside Louisville. Tough to win over a state full of ignorant racists, but odder things have happened. If nothing else it’ll make the primary worth paying attention to.

Think she plays chess?

If she does, I’m certain she’d slay that spino Bevin. What the buggering bollocks was he thinking?

Fortunately, he had the foresight to adopt some black kids, which proves he’s not a racist — not. Still — and although I think he is a bigot — I’m prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one and put it down to genuine surprise to find that people who don’t go to private schools have brains. Which in itself is a problem if you’re the governor. But I don’t think he meant it as an insult, even if it came out as one.

Doesn’t every kid learn to play chess at some time? Or have the opportunity to? That’s my recollection of school. Every school has a chess club, right?

Well, your school probably had a yacht club, so your upbringing isn’t exactly relevant to The West End. But yeah, even in inner city London we learnt how to play chess.

All the fuss is a bit redundant to me. I judge people by the company they keep, which policies they support, and whom they vote for. Bevin enjoys the company of racists, supports racist policies, and votes for racists. He’s never been shy about it, either. His Prince Phillip-style gaffes neither surprise me nor change anything I previously thought about him.

Likewise, just as the revelation that Schnatter casually throws the n-word on conference calls because, in his mind, there’s nothing wrong with it, and he thinks nobody would dare challenge him. It’s about as surprising as finding out that Scott Pruitt’s as bent as a five-bob note.

I once nearly landed in very hot water for doing the same thing. Quoting someone else who’d used that word. I realised my error and apologised just in time. But first, I’m not a shitty-pizza billionaire with a very public history of recent racist behaviour, and, second, I wasn’t on a conference call with reporters.

I’m glad you learnt your lesson. When used by non-African-Americans — in any circumstances — the word’s history completely alters its meaning. The word has been reclaimed, rightly, by the people it was used to suppress and to enslave. Do not use it. End of.

Shitty pizzas they may be, and an odious, right-wing womble who’s finally getting his comeuppance he most definitely is, but Louisville isn’t so flush with big businesses that we can afford to lose any. While it’s tempting to gloat over his demise, Papa John’s keeps a lot of roofs over heads, and contrary to popular belief is a generous employer, at least at the corporate level. That doesn’t just mean execs — it means lots of mid- to lower-level corporate jobs too. We need them.

Trust you to come up with the centrist public relations bollocks. You are the Journey of opinions — outdated-worse-now-and-crap-to-begin-with-middle-of-the-road rubbish.

I bet you went to see them.

And thus the conversation ends. See you in a fortnight.