Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best, & Most Absurd (5/23)

Red Stain On The Bluegrass  |  Thorn

Why is it that Kentucky’s influence seems to eclipse its size? Another infamous resident goes on to gain more power: The U.S. Senate installed Gina Haspel, a UofL graduate, Ashland native and enabler of torture, as director of the CIA. She joins another Trump administration stain, environment destroyer Scott Pruitt, who is from Danville. How can we forget to mention Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul?

The Secret of Politics? Timing  |  Thorn

Interesting that Mayor Greg Fischer’s office told council members just before the primary that a report on the Explorer Scout sex scandal cannot be released for fear of jeopardizing civil and criminal cases. The report is to include a timeline who knew what and when. The investigator has not said whether Fischer or officials within his administration were interviewed, CJ reported.

Never Mind, Courier Journal… We Do That Better, Too  |  Absurd

At one time, Courier Journal’s metro page was for news. Now, it seems writers are given free reign to use it like a Twitter feed, including this satirical look at how the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on sports gambling will play in Kentucky. The writer predicts lawmakers will allow what he called “one of the more addictive and soul-destroying entertainments known to man — all for the sake of generating tax dollars. Forget all of the very real medical benefits nature has provided via the glory of marijuana. Forget the billions of dollars Kentucky could generate by growing metric tons of fine Kentucky cheeba. Instead, let’s prey on the weak-minded.” Sooo… gambling is for the weak, and smoking dope is… uh, dope. How about leaving the satire to us and getting back to writing about music, arts and theater?

We Are Not All Hicks, Padma  |  Thorn

Top Chef has come to film in Kentucky, and Padma thought it would be fitting to wear bib overalls while eating barbecue at Feast.

Garfield?  |  Absurd

State wildlife officials have warned Anchorage residents to “be vigilant” because they have received “two credible but unconfirmed sightings of a mountain lion or other large feline” last week. “Their analysis concluded that the animal pictured in the photo is significantly smaller than a mountain lion but larger than a typical house cat.”