I hear a term like “involuntary celibate,” and I immediately think to myself, “Oh, there’s no fuckin’ way in hell that nonsense was not born, raised and made to be awful on the fuckin internet,” because the internet is the cauldron from which all modern-day horror comes crawling from; attempting to make contact and spread its code-birthed contagion as far as it can. Let’s be crystal here — not only have I never been on a Reddit or a 4chan, but I don’t even tweet, and it’s because that shit is truly beneath me. I’m out here in the wild of day and could give a flying fuck-head what a bunch of evil, sniveling, little nerds are getting into online. But seeing as the involuntary celibates of the world have decided to leave the keyboards behind so they can turn violent out here in the streets, I decided to take a peek and see for myself what this community of lonely, never kissed dorks are really all about.

Annnnnd I lasted all of a half hour reading the gross prattling of a bunch of long-winded, whiny dip-shits.

To, for the lack of a better word, spy on the digital safe space shared by a vast number of miserable virgins and scorned semi-virginal dude’s using Sailor Moon as their avatar argue over just how much of a handsome-boy, mass killer nerd Elliot Rodger was on a scale of marvelous to the blinding light pouring forth from God’s huge hog… was for me, an act of self harm that sliced a little too close to a blood main. It made me look deep into the sky, bumper to bumper with clouds fat with rain and pray for nukes to drop and wipe the trash mammals known as man completely out of existence.

The entire collective history of humanity has brought us to… this?

…An endless sea of uploaded men confessing before their rebuffed forum brethren that they are sick and tired of jacking their beanstalks 15 times a day, and they now demand a bevy of beauties to choose from?! And if this tall order isn’t delivered, they plan on learnin’ the rest of us but good, like some avenging angels who have no reason whatsoever in seeking vengeance?

This shit is real life?!

How is this happening?

Who brought these worthless fools into the world to begin with?! And how do we wipe them out?

The amount of misogynistic, racist and flat-out, soul-crushing wrongheadedness I saw in my short visit to the incel side of the shit galaxy made me completely abandon all my feelings on the subject of bullying. Because what I saw was a fantastic number of pathetic man-babies who need their devices smashed, and their heads plunged into the toilet and then to be hoisted from their underwear and sent up the flagpole to be mocked and jeered for being no good for nothing but making bellyaching over the fact that, yes, a lot of us, crush a lot, an identity.

No one wants to talk to you, kiss, caress you, suck and fuck you, coo sweet nothings to you?

Tough!

No one on Earth owes you a god damn fucking thing! You are born entitled to jack and shit, bub! So get over it. ‘Cause thems the breaks, and the breaks never bend. Nobody has to put up with your bullshit! It’s fucked up to me how much all this incel situation stinks of Travis Bickle… it’s almost as if Schrader and Scorsese had tried to warn us all back in ‘76, but we refused to listen. The entire idea of “Taxi Driver” is one of intense, awkward loneliness and failed attempts at human connection followed by a messy explosion of violence, all because some dude wrongfully saw himself a cut above the riffraff and desired a fair maiden to sire him a son.

Are there too many people occupying the planet?

Yes, 100 percent!

And incels are just more fucking proof of that fact. I’ve said here before and I’ll say it again: Stop Making Humans We Don’t Need! For The Love Of Yeezus!