Bevin goes off script  |  Thorn

Just as we suspected, there was a right-wing script for how to respond to recent teacher walkouts. Gov. Matt “Never To Blame” Bevin had to have read it, but he screwed even that up. The Guardian newspaper published a “messaging guide” it said was distributed by the State Policy Network, “an alliance of 66 right-wing ‘ideas factories’ that span every state in the nation.” Key talking points included the claim that such walkouts hurt low-income families. “Low-income kids already face serious disadvantages and they shouldn’t be punished because adults can’t agree,” the guide says. Of course, Bevin took it to the next twitchy, awkward level by predicting kids would be sexually assaulted and poisoned during the walkout. And then he apologized (but did not really apologize) for all of us being too stupid to understand what he didn’t mean.

Mayor gets clouted  |  Rose

Citizens of Louisville Organized and United Together, or CLOUT, garners a rose for pressuring Mayor Greg Fischer to get his police department under control. Specifically, the group wants police to make more of an effort to not use deadly force when dealing with people addicted to drugs or who are mentally ill. Fischer’s spokeswoman told Courier Journal that police receive “crisis intervention training,” which “last year helped them resolve almost 96 percent of 2,274 CIT situations with no use of force.” But the group cited a recent case in which police fatally shot a man who advanced on officers while wielding a screwdriver. He was a former patient at Central State Mental Hospital.

Lettuce feed you  |  Rose

Even CJ now agrees that the Omni Hotel’s Falls City Market is not a real grocery store for downtown and environs, but who would have guessed that the tourist attraction Fourth Street Live! would be the first to offer starved urban dwellers an actual farmers market? Not us… It will open May 9 to Oct. 31 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Wednesdays. It is the, er… produce of Fourth Street Live!, Louisville Downtown Partnership and Louisville Grows.

Maybe now they’ll stay home  |  Absurd

Speaking of lettuce, an outbreak of hepatitis A in Louisville has prompted the state of Indiana to urge Hoosiers to get vaccinated before visiting here. Suddenly, driving in Louisville has become safer… Jkng!