Thorns & Roses: Worst, Best and Most Absurd

Bevin gets on the (sports)ball  |  Absurd

We hate agreeing with Gov. Matt “Oblivious” Bevin, but while he was in Washington, D.C., to fluff tRump, he told TMZ college athletes should be paid “if you want to cut down on the amount of scandal that involves these kids, their parents, these shady agents and these squirrelly deals … It’s a multibillion industry, and we’re just pretending these kids are student-athletes? C’mon … How they get paid and what that looks like, I don’t have an exact solution. Let’s figure it out.” What about lowering the NBA age limit to 18 to give kids more options and save them from the sharks?

Tax reform just GOP smoke  |  Thorn

We hate agreeing with Republicans, but they realized, finally, they need to bring in more revenue and not just cut, so they now propose a 50-cent cig tax and 25-cents-per-dosage opioid tax… but their latest spending plan still is austere, except for the $70 million for three private prisons, Courier Journal reported. Some Ds voted nay, saying the state instead needs long-promised, but undelivered tax reform. And anti-smoking activists say the butt tax should be $1 a pack. Meanwhile, July marijuana sales in Nevada generated $3.68 million in tax revenue. In just one month!

Let them eat paper towels…  |  Thorn

The city required Omni Hotel developers to install “a high quality, full service urban grocery” as a condition for developing city land because… no groceries downtown. What did we get? A fucking Half Foods! A breathless CJ story called it a “grocery-like shop” and said, “Unlike traditional grocery stores, however, the departments will be filled with carefully curated items such as 100-percent grassfed [sic] beef … Many of the local products will carry premium prices … But the market will be rounded out with staple items like flour and paper towels that will be competitively priced.” Maybe tRump will throw paper towels at the first customers.

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CJ story on needlepoint  |  Rose

Need proof that great journalism can help? CJ reporter Laura Ungar’s story on the threat of an HIV outbreak in Appalachia persuaded a foundation to give $5,000 to help fund needle exchange there.

Medium wheel for medium city  |  Rose

We get a temporary, 137-foot-diameter Ferris wheel this month. Not the London Eye’s 394 feet, but…

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