Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best & Most Absurd

Hoover sucks…  |  Thorn

Jeff Hoover finally quit as state House speaker after reports of a sex harassment settlement. In a petulant speech, he said his inappropriate texting with a female staffer was not sexual harassment. He claimed he is a victim of a conspiracy. Bullshit. We are conflicted: His resignation may quell chaos in the GOP and allow it to continue to exploit its supermajority to maim the state further (Hoover had stood up to the governor), but the lech needed to go.

We are good with that  |  Rose

U.S. Sen. Rand Paul said it has been a “living hell” recovering from a mysterious attack by a neighbor that left him with broken ribs.

And you expected what?  |  Rose

The ACLU earns a rose for monitoring the state’s push to bring the Bible into classrooms. A new law allows this, under the guise of “Bible literacy.” But the ACLU found some teachers “are using the Bible to impart religious life lessons and actively inculcate Christianity,” it said in a letter to the state. Courier Journal reported that the ACLU claims some students were asked to memorize Bible verses, or assigned to “do your best to develop close relationships with other Christians.”

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We like you, we really like you!  |  Rose

A rose bouquet goes to our Dear Leader and LEO founder, U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, who announced he will seek reelection and then pressed a campaign to prove Our Stable Genius Leader is anything but.

Global harming  |  Thorn

We wanted this to be no-Gov. Matt Bevin January, for sake of our liver, but… The Gateway Fascist declared in a tweet that “Trump has been in office 1 year & has already fixed global warming,” next to a map of the nation under deep freeze. Later, he said it was a joke, but then doubled down as a global warming denier, telling a radio station: “ … this idea that we all need to be held hostage to a handful of people who contribute nothing to the wealth of this nation, who then will, in turn, shut us down, led by puppeteers like Al Gore, for the lining of their own pockets, in order to make us jump through various regulatory hoops, as if somehow, we, mankind, is solely responsible and is solely going to be the solution, is ludicrous.”

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