Don’t watch Mayweather-McGregor, drink here instead

There’s been a lot of hype lately around the outrageous, circus spectacular that is the impending boxing match between Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor. Admittedly, up until recently, I didn’t know or care a damn thing about it, but like most folks, I became curious about all the commotion. Originally, I set out to write this column about where my Louisville people might find a sturdy barstool to watch the match (that wasn’t in that godforsaken entertainment district down on Fourth Street), but, alas, my research led me down a different road. Oftentimes, when I’m not abreast of the most thorough knowledge of the statistics and history of a sporting match (or I’m simply not a fan), I base my figurative bets on ethics and morals. For example, if the Eagles went to the Super Bowl, I’m rooting for whomever they were playing against — not because I care, but because I hate Michael Vick (my angel dogs are pit bulls, so…).

This leads me to my first opinion to root for McGregor: Floyd Mayweather has a history of domestic abuse against women, and used the words “faggot” and “pussy” to insult McGregor in one of their public weigh-in’s. “That settles it, then,” I thought to myself, “McGregor is my new boo.”

Not so fast, Ms. Westbrook, as I clearly got ahead of myself. More research led me to find that, while I knew McGregor was a pompous asshole (after all, he wore a suit that read “fuck you” hundreds of times in the pinstripe), he also has a history of making racially-charged comments to his opponents, and some of the footage I watched at past weigh-ins left me feeling ill. While my place of employment will not be showing the fight, regardless (it costs thousands of dollars to order the fight to be shown commercially, a risk many watering holes can’t afford to take), I’d rather not endorse a sporting event that will only make two pieces of shit humans far richer.

Which brings me to my question (finally), what can we do in Louisville on Saturday, Aug. 26, that involves imbibing but doesn’t include watching a woman-beater and a racially-insensitive idiot beat the snot out of each other for money?

The Bluegrass Veg Fest is a community event founded by the talented folks at V-Grits (the orange, hearty-vegan food truck you’ve most certainly seen parked around town) dedicated to promoting a plant-based lifestyle, but you don’t have to be a herbivore to enjoy this delectable event. Hosted by Tim Faulkner Gallery, which boasts a full bar that opens at 12 p.m. that day with various local brews and spirits, Veg Fest will offer “so much food,” says their event page, drinks, speakers, raffles and more. With the theme of compassion, this event, I can almost guarantee, will offer no public displays of aggression. Unless V-Grits runs out of their mac-n-cheese — then all bets are off.

Aug. 26 is when the gruesome Zombie Walk in Louisville on Bardstown Road will bring out some 40,000 zombies, adorned in zombie makeup and costumes for a fun and terrifying march ending in a block party near Highland Avenue. Later that evening, though, might I recommend continuing the festivities at The Cure Lounge for “Market for Michief’s Haunted Second Year Anniversary.” Market for Mischief will be a titillating night of burlesque, drag, clowning and fire arts, and boast performances by Louisville’s funkiest sideshow and circus collective, Octo Claw’s Bizarre Bazaar. “Halloween season is Octo Claw’s time of year,” said co-Creator, Camilla Jasis-Wallace, “this is our kick off to the macabre times. What’s a better way to ring in the week of the undead than with fire, grinders, drag, fake blood, stripping, spinning blades, glass eating and more?” There will be blood, said Jasis-Wallace, but she also assured me there will be tarps and towels … and zero boxing. The Cure Lounge also boasts great prices on a wide variety of beers and cocktails, sticking true to their “divey, rock venue” vibe.

Lastly, and something incredibly easy you can do when you’re looking for a place to imbibe on Saturday, is patronize establishments that aren’t showing the fight. Bars that are showing it are going to be incredibly busy, and while that might be fun for many, it’ll mean less business for those that aren’t. Your service industry friends who work at an establishment that didn’t purchase that commercial package are going to make very little money in tips the night of the fight, so why not give them some local love and come on by? I’d bet (in Louisville, not Vegas) they would be willing to save you a seat.