Thorns & Roses: The Worst, Best & Most Absurd (7/19)

Lock’em up?  |  Rose

The state Attorney General’s Office is investigating the UofL Foundation after an audit concluded that this organization set up to help UofL was actually misspending money, losing money and…? Will the investigation find more on disgraced former UofL President James “Pharaoh” Ramsey’s computer than just “My Strange Addiction” reruns?

Get out the pitchforks and torches!  |  Thorn

The Courier-Journal reported that “Embattled Metro Councilman Dan Johnson’s days in City Hall are numbered …” Really? Doesn’t a council court get to decide that? (We recall Councilwoman Barbara Shanklin’s day in council court ended well for her.) But no, it seems that many people assume Johnson to be guilty of three allegations, one of which was investigated by an ersatz clutch of council members that found… wait for it… no proof he purposely palmed a councilwoman’s tuchus. Johnson is certainly this village’s idiot — his post-allegation remarks prove that. And if we had to bet on it, we might say the odds are he is guilty. But he is entitled to his day in court, and not just in the court of public opinion.

Render Unto Caesar  |  Absurd 

Saying the Ark Park is clearly a for-profit endeavor, the city of Williamstown rejected its request to not pay a 50-cent-per-ticket tax to improve area emergency safety services. The park may be trying to wiggle out of that: It sold its parcel with the Ark for $10 to a nonprofit affiliate, The Lexington Herald-Leader reported. That’s right — $10 for what the county says is a $48 million property. The 50-cent tax would be on tickets costing $48 for adults and $28 for children. Maybe Ark overlord Ken Ham thinks God will save the Ark, the largest timber frame structure in the U.S., if hellfire rains down.

Let’s be friends and just bicycle away  |  Rose

We figured that tourists would be among those to use the rental LouVelo bikes, the ones you see in those racks downtown. But traveling musicians? Rivers Cuomo of Weezer rode out on main stage at Forecastle on Sunday astride a green one. LouVelo tweeted: “Holy Spokes!” Don’t come undone —  get yours at louvelo.com