In a relationship or life jam? Lemme unstuck your life: [email protected].
Hey Louisville, believe it or not, being your relationship advice columnist requires a fair bit of hustle on my part. Your questions don’t just turn up in my inbox — P.S., Please send me questions.
It’s like I’m a hustler of the heart, but in a good way, not in that ex-whose-name-still-makes-you-want-to-vom-when-you-hear-it way. So, when my column dropped last week, I was doing my usual thing, trying to get it out in front of as many eyeballs as possible. I dropped it on my Facebook page and then I moseyed over to Twitter to do a little promoting.
I thought I’d pop off a little Tweet treating Dan Savage, the leading relationship advice columnist in the nation, like I was coming for him. I didn’t @Dan though, because I’m a rookie in the game, I’m not delusional. Plus, Dan’s column actually runs in the LEO too, and I wouldn’t want my editor to get on me about harassing my coworkers.
Anywho, Dan does not let anything get by him on Twitter. He saw my tweet, “Out here in these relationship advice streets trying to knock Dan Savage back on the sidewalk lol. Email: [email protected]”
Dan, who, as it turns out, had spent a summer in our fair city of Louisville in the mid-‘80s, tweeted me backed: “Let me know if you want to come on and knock me back on my own show. xo” You betcha, I do, Mr. Savage! Sometimes, Mean Girling on the internet pays off.
Dan and I set a date for me to appear on his show. And then imposter syndrome set in. Who was I to go on his show? I’d been doing this for only a few months, I don’t have a doctorate in mending broken hearts and, shit, I’d just had a disaster of a relationship end. I also fretted I would say something dumb and be crushed under a wave on internet backlash. Or what if I told everyone about it, and then Dan didn’t actually have me on, because he really is savage?
I know it seems absurd that I would worry about whether I have the credentials to be a guest on Dan Savage’s podcast, when a man with the least credentials ever is steering the big ol’ yacht that is these here United States of America.
But, you know, I’m also not a white dude.
Anyways, I pulled it together.
Dan, as it turns out, is really more like Dan Cuddly Bear than Savage. I knew who he was before I started writing this column, but when I landed the gig, I sat down and read tons of his columns in The Stranger. I’d also read “Dear Prudence” and a lot of “Dear Sugar” to prep.
This research, with my own writing style and the insights I gained while letting dudes trash my heart up and down the West Coast, had served me well. Not only did Dan say I give good advice, and now some of his fans have found me on Twitter to say the same, but I ran into one of my early question-askers: Adult Braces.
Remember her, y’all? She was worried that having braces was hurting her chances at finding love. I ran into her at an event, and she told me about how much my advice had meant, and she had found a boyfriend.
So, it should come as no surprise that my episode of the Savage Lovecast went well.
We answered one question from a young man who had a perplexing thought process behind asking women in his class out, and we tackled a sub-dom-friend relationship triangle question. He also revealed the secret for how liberals can reroute politics in this nation. But mostly, it was just sex chatter.
Also, Dan loves a good fellatio analogy: Give us a listen.