Where to drink on election night

The 2016 Presidential election has undoubtedly driven many of us to the bars and bottles. As it’s the most visceral and social media-driven campaign of our lifetimes, we cannot get away from the daily happenings of America’s pending nuptials. From political arguments among colleagues and friends to the ever-present statuses and shares from that one terrible relative, I think we’ve all shared in a collective face-palm from time to time, which all leads to, simply put, our need for a drink. Election night will be no different, as most of America will hover tensely around the television, awaiting the news of a future that holds either progress or apocalyptic horror (I’ll let you decide who is who). I know I’ll need to be encircled with friends, like-minded folks and cocktails, lots of cocktails. So, who is hosting the soirée for such an occasion? Which bars will be showing the daunting updates in real time? I’ve laid out a few options for you fine folks — now let’s just hope Amiri King won’t be at any of them.

Louis’s “The Ton” has quickly become a Butchertown neighborhood staple, as it’s done a stellar job of hosting events around specific spirits, industry specials, live music, spoken-word poetry, movie nights and more. Election night at “The Ton” will be no different — it’ll be showing the “dramedy” in the theater room all evening, as America selects its “next weapon of self-defeat,” it says on its Facebook page. “The Ton” will provide free popcorn and its standard Industrial Tuesday specials, which range from $2 Tecates to $3 Redemption Rye whiskey drinks. Sounds like a solid spot to either shatter a proverbial glass ceiling or cry hysterically into my Old Fashioned.

What started as a Facebook event by Louisvillian Dawn Howard, to get friends together for Election night debauchery, now has 300 “interested” RSVPs and a host: Hilltop Tavern. “Seeking a friend for the end of the world,” as it’s called, will have election coverage on the projection screen at Hilltop and New Albanian Elector on tap (with glassware). And kids are welcome until 10 p.m. (says the Book of Faces). Sounds like an ideal locale for me to gorge myself on mac-and-cheese fritters and take several shots of Fernet Branca. Let’s hope Uber and Lyft drivers don’t take the evening off.

Everyone’s favorite Island in The Highlands, The Monkey Wrench, will also be showing live-stream election night coverage for your viewing pleasure, or devastation, depending on how the results land. While owner Dennie Humphrey would never openly claim he’d give away free booze, “a toast will be risen to Trump’s defeat,” he said. I’ll certainly drink to that.

Bars and restaurants across Louisville will certainly be pouring their fair share of American spirit, but some folks are choosing to celebrate at home and host events and shenanigans from their comfort of their couch — and political affiliation. Given how emotionally-driven and frightening this election has been, and what is at stake should a certain Cheeto be elected, it makes sense to want to create a safe place to tune in and watch the results unfold without the risk of spiteful bar banter, or in some cases, an all-out brawl.

Louisvillian Bridget Pitcock celebrates her 33rd birthday on Nov. 9, which happens to fall the day after the election. Bridget’s wife, Meg, chose to capitalize on what we hope will be a historic day for women in America and throw an “I’m With Her” viewing party and birthday celebration for her first lady, complete with bourbon slushies and a “Shatter the Glass Ceiling” cocktail. There are a few requirements to enter said party, though, and they do make my heart swell with feminist pride. Guests must have voted that day, and they must have voted for the first-ever female president of the United States. Hey, it’s her party, she can vote who she wants to … and guests must have done the same!

While the “I’m With Her” viewing party isn’t open to the public, (sorry, y’all), wherever you’re watching the live election coverage, I wish you a full glass and a future that guarantees the rights and safety of you and yours. Cheers!