Back in prehistorical times you had hair, didnt you?
You cheeky twat. I had hair until at least 1985. But dont you worry. Ive noted your combover: Youll also be a bald bastard before long. Anyway, why the sudden interest in my barnet?
Just seeing you got me thinking of current news, so I was wondering if it would pass muster at Butler Traditional High School. I think not. What an almighty balls-up JCPS and Butler have made of this hairstyle dispute. Taking two lessons straight out of the Trump playbook: see a molehill, turn it into a mountain. Particularly if its a racist molehill. Youd think it was 1956, not 2016.
If youre shocked by that, you havent been paying attention. This state is, by and large, every bit as racist as it was when there was a slave market down on Main Street. Were just more subtle about it now. Besides, who gives a toss what a kids hair looks like? If anything, we should be encouraging the little buggers to be more creative.
Well, apparently Butler disagrees with you about that, and, rather than make things better, theyve managed to make things worse by presenting a new set of rules thatre even dafter than before. As if the farcical summer at UofL wasnt bringing our education administrators enough shame. All being done in the hilarious name of embracing diversity, too. Now all they insist is that the boys hair is no more than three inches long like the teacher is going to measure it and free of dye or colour. And worst of all? No bandanas.
No bandanas? Youre having a tin bath? Johnny Depp must be turning in his grave.
Erm, mate, pretty certain Depp is still alive.
Well, he would be if he wasnt. The point is that mullets and bandanas are more Kentuckian than tobacco barns and bluegrass. Butlers gone from being racist against its black students to being classist against its rednecks ... which, despite being deliciously ironic, is also equally unacceptable.
I wonder if theres ever been any research done into youth hairstyles and adult outcomes? Theres one for the social sciences to ponder: the link between bad hairstyles in youth and meth addiction in adults. My guess is theyd discover that most kids who want to piss about with their hair while they still have it, generally go on to become productive, creative members of society.
Exactly. And thats why I had cool, long hair when I could, and why youve had a regulation cowlick your whole life. My guess is that JCPS will end up distancing itself from any sort of hair policy. Its a fight they cant win. Like having a pop at the parents of a dead soldier, or telling a Kentuckian that drinking bourbons about as much fun as downing DDT.
I think you may be right about the hair, if not about the bourbon, which, I might add, is one of our great exports, a booming industry, and one of lifes great pleasures. Trust you to hate it.
I dont hate that were finding investors and building new businesses, I just wish we could find something to invest in thats a bit more relevant and a lot less short-sighted than bourbon: It just reinforces the idea that Louisvilles stuck in the 19th century. Its not exactly Silicon Valley, never mind Napa Valley.
Its what were good at. It gets brings people and dough to Louisville. People like Matthew McConaughey for example. Who was the last Hollywood A-lister to advertise a product made in Kentucky? Being an advertising guru, I assume you saw that Wild Turkey coup?
I did. And I will begrudgingly admit that getting McConaughey to dress like a lumberjack and plug the brand is a fantastic accomplishment for Wild Turkey, and, in some sense, for Kentucky too. That said, when you see the ad Johnnie Walker made with Robert Carlyle in Scotland, youll see what can be done with a real actor and with real creative input. McConaughey basically did his best Eric Flack impersonation.
You cant have it all its probably not going to win any creative awards, but it will give anyone here who sees it the warm fuzzies. Considering Depp, Lawrence, Clooney and Cruise all have legitimate Kentucky roots, they could all do a little more than the bugger all that they currently do. Whoever was responsible for McConaughey deserves a pat on the back, at the very least.
Or the head, assuming their haircuts approved.