The Plain Brown Reaper

Sep 9, 2015 at 2:27 pm
The Plain Brown Reaper

By accident or design, my recent letter to the editor that appeared in the Aug. 28, 2015, issue of LEO referred to me not as “The Plain Brown Rapper,” but rather as “The Plain Brown Reaper.” I like it. These are grim times.

Prefatory note: About that name … The Plain is what these columns are. No fancy seven-syllable Aaron Yarmuth columns.  Brown, my name. As for “Reaper,” it is defined as “(one who) cuts with a scythe.” Smile. 

“Reap” is secondarily defined as “to obtain as a result of effort”. Naah, not so much. Like my brother from another mother — Ricky Lee Jones — I prefer stream of consciousness. My quotes come from The Bible or the dictionary. ’Nuff said.

Except for this: “Reaper” is most commonly associated with The Grim Reaper.

And there is no topic more grim than that of immigration. Exaggerated talk of Mexican rapists pouring over the border, suggestions that the 14th Amendment does not really mean what it says and dreams of Jack-Booted Feds kicking down doors and hauling the “illegals” back home are quite off the the wall (pun intended).

And nasty talk about undocumented workers is not only mean-spirited, butsuch rhetoric is short-sighted, inaccurate and counter-productive. Words matter. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” John 1:1. Check out Michael Jones throwing that one in my face on YouTube.

In the ’80s and ’90s (I believe as one grows older, you count by decades and not years), I opined on three occasions need for the establishment of a North American Union. No lesser source than the Council of Foreign Relations published a document by very name a few years ago.

Once upon a time, Marx or Lenin or  some unremembered Commie made the astute observation that the economic substructure defines the political, societal and cultural superstructure. True that.

And voila, we have — love it or simply like it — NAFTA.

And with NAFTA, we have the table set for a North American Union or if you prefer The United States of North America. In simplest terms, the Mexican states and Canadian provinces would each have two senators and delegates to the lower chamber by representative population. We use the American dollar for currency and perhaps rotate the Congress among the cities of Washington, Mexico City and let the Canadians quarrel politely about theirs. As a wise Nevisian (West Indies) once told me when I asked whether he preferred payment in U.S. or E.C. (Eastern Caribbean) currency, ”The dollar, mon, it is good all over the world.”

The travel from Juarez to Los Angeles would be as simple as going from Louisville to Nashville. No wall, no passports, no hassle and the galling political rhetoric would cease. No treasure wasted on border guards and deportation courts, no loss of jobs to the “furriners,” no import-export duties on goods.

No sweat. With the strokes of three pens and a lot of smart diplomacy — this can all be achieved by enlightened peoples.

In addition to solving the immigration conflagration, other distinct pluses would arise. 

Magically, we would be able to compete with revitalized vigor with both the European Union and The Eastern Dragons, foremost being China and Japan. Could it be more obvious?

With the overnight population growth, not only will the economy be enhanced in more ways than even The Reaper can foresee, but so too would the pool of soldiers and weapons. Something to ponder in the dead of night while Russia noisily expands and China quietly plans. The New American Continent would expand from the Arctic to Central America. More secure from attack and infiltration. Plus, manifest destiny always played for me.

The impact on the drug cartels would be palpable. Supply and demand would unite. The new FBI and DEA would have the resources to crush the bad guys and no doubt the reconstituted “U.S. Marshals” would track down El Chapo and our combined militaries could detect and destroy tunnel smuggled drugs and high profile prisoners without breaking a sweat.

And hell, we might even become bi-lingual and no longer fret over which button to push.

But anyway, I’m Carl Brown, LEO’s Plain Brown Reaper and that’s just my own damn opinion. If you don’t like it, sue me.  Just look at the big picture. It’s as big as a continent.

Please send hate mail to LEO.