We are so honored here at LEO to have esteemed Senator McConnell gracing the cover of our annual Fake Issue. We just couldn’t think of anyone more deserving. What with all his power and influence and, yet, here he is on our cover promising to quit breaking bad with old meanie you-know-who.
Talk about making our state proud … how about them Cats and Cards? Wow, there are just no words to describe what basketball means to this great state, and I just can’t wait for you to turn to the Guest Commentary in this issue by Louie the Cardinal. Spring is here, at last, oh, welcome the warm sunshine and beautiful flowers right into our very souls. The birds are singing, and that includes Louie the Cardinal who dishes the true story behind his relationship with the Kentucky Wildcat because there’s no better accessory to complement fake than GOSSIP! Yep, so settle in relax and enjoy while Louie dishes the true story behind his relationship with the Kentucky Wildcat. Truly riveting.
We’re just so excited for you to read the plethora of news stories in this issue. Our coverage begins with the city’s important decision to downgrade from being a “compassionate city” to being “a mildly concerned” city because while being fake is awesome, sometimes we have to make room for a little reality too. Ya know? I mean what’s the point in being fake if being fake means you have to think about unpleasant and ugly things like hunger, poverty and … ew! I can’t even go on. Whatever. Anyway, who can be that good all the time?
Speaking of good, turn to Staff Picks if you’re looking to have a good time because you will definitely find plenty of things to tell Siri to put on your calendar! Whether it’s enjoying religious freedom in Indiana, bare knuckle boxing under the 2nd Street Bridge, al fresco onanism (LOL, I love Google Thesaurus!) or gettin’ jiggy with Morris Day and the Time at the Palace … we just can’t wait to see you out and about enjoying all the great things this city we live in has to offer.
Talk about being a great city, we foodies are just falling all over ourselves with pride in Louisville’s dining scene. I mean I can’t remember the last time I finished a meal before it was cold because I just couldn’t stop Instagramming pictures of my gourmet meal! And did someone say Bourbon? I mean, shut up! No seriously, I’m so tired of all the blah, blah, blah about Bourbon. It doesn’t even taste that good and the calories and wrinkles? Totally not worth it. Anyway, we’ve got some phenomenal dining stories to share with you.
So, um, to wrap this up, with another forced transition … the great tradition of our “ETC.” section includes the New York Times Crossword, and it just so happens that 72-across challenges you to think of a six-letter word for “pub fixture,” and pubs have food and drinks, just like our dining section does, so I think my work here is done! TTFN! Love ya!