Old Louisville — Early this morning, Ray Chapman, 37, became the latest victim of a mysterious condition that has become way too prevalent in society, forgetting a brilliant idea he just had before getting out of the shower. 

What is most commonly known as “shower forgetfulness” or “damn it, what was that idea,” the mysterious disorder generally afflicts people immediately following showers or when lying awake in bed throughout the night. 

Chapman is fairly upset about the missed opportunity. “It was a game changer. It had something to do with technology … like an app. Although maybe a new restaurant idea,” he says. “I jumped out of the shower so happy. This was at least a several-thousand dollar idea, maybe millions. But there’s just no way to know.”

Friends and family are expressing great concern. Chapman has reportedly always been very well organized, smart and focused on his career. Now he seems absent, lost in thought, and showed up late for work as the result of the incident. 

Chapman is currently a barista at Vint Coffee on Frankfort Avenue. 

Experts say not enough public attention is being paid to this ailment. Dr. Joe Johnston of University of Louisville Hospital says, “We just don’t know enough about this disease. Everyone is vulnerable, and it seems nobody is willing to find a cure.”

“Some people spend their entire lives coming up with this one brilliant idea, and as soon as they find it, it’s gone,” Johnston says. “It’s really tragic. We wish we could do more for them, but at the moment, there just is not enough funding for research.”

The only current suggested solution is a primitive mix of lead and cellulose pulp, particularly from wood or grass, which Chapman indicates he plans to trial. 

“I will not let this happen to me again,” Chapman says. “From now on, if there are no major breakthroughs, I’m never showering again without bringing a pencil and a piece of paper.”