Not My Cuppa Joe
As the campaign manager for Sen. Mitch McConnell, I was completely justified in threatening to have LEO Weekly news editor Joe Sonka arrested for having the gall to want to ask the senator a question at his press conference in Louisville last week.
LEO is nothing but a communist rag for hippie peaceniks who whine about perfectly reasonable legislation that Sen. McConnell has advocated, such as the Patriot Act, the 2008 Wall Street bailout and the Iraq War.
I’m sure you’re thinking, “Hey, didn’t you work for Ron and Rand Paul, who agree with LEO on those issues?” Sure, I did, but that’s before McConnell started paying me hundreds of thousands of dollars and promised to support Rand Paul’s presidential aspirations. My bank account tells me that Sonka and LEO should be monitored and restricted by government security so that he doesn’t ask McConnell difficult questions. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Jesse Benton, Texas
Still Faked Out
As a long-time reader of LEO Weekly — yes, I remember when John Yarmuth was still in charge, and the publication was more than just a bunch of narcissistic rants — I must say I am still in shock over two things: First of all, the fact that you have not published any of my previous letters about how in shock I am, and secondly, the absolutely offensive story that appeared in your March 27, 2013, edition.
The headline for this story was “U of L research proves Jennifer Lawrence still getting hotter,” and as a modern, independent female and supporter of the “Lean In” movement, I find this to be disgusting. Under the guise of a university “study,” young college-age males ogle a perfectly nice young girl who happens to be succeeding in her career as an actress? The worst part is, you reported it as if it’s news.
I am particularly appalled by the quotes attributed to lead “researcher” Randy Ardent, which are juvenile and demeaning, and totally unbecoming of a scientist. Ardent went on a rant about not only Lawrence’s sex appeal, but his desires in her regard, and then goes so far as to question her very sanity, saying, “There’s just something about crazy chicks, man.”
I’ve been turning this over in my mind for the past year, and I have submitted several letters that went unacknowledged. I, for one, cannot continue to support a publication that would glorify the wasting of our tax dollars on such unscientific drivel. Please cancel my subscription.
Danielle Pestilence, Prospect, Ky.
Booze and Gays
I knew when the Bar Belle took over as editor of LEO, it would all go downhill. I was right. I feel like every story is either on booze or the gays. Isn’t there more to Louisville than these two whiney factions? The gays want to be treated equal — boring! We’ve heard enough already. Go back into your closets and knit me a sweater, dammit! And the booze — if I went a year without hearing about how important bourbon is to Kentucky, I’d be just fine.
Earlier this year, LEO did a cover on the state of local breweries in Louisville. Again — boring. I prefer Bud Light. I don’t need my beer to be all fancy pants. I have a theory. What if the gays are behind the recent popularity of craft beer and craft cocktails? Or, I bet it’s those damn hipsters on their mopeds. I was drinking PBR from a can long before it became cool. And I read LEO when it was cool — 20 years ago when John Yarmuth was running things and they had those goofy classified ads in the back.
Please, for the love of Christ, let’s stop talking about rainbows and IPAs.
Lyle Roberts Jr., Lyndon
Plug Me In
I saw a band listed in your Plugging In section that is playing tonight at a club called “Fourth Street Live.” Can you drop everything you’re doing and call me to tell me all about this band, Bruise Cruise? That reminds me of Brewer & Shipley — remember them? They did that song “One Toke Over the Line.” Also, can you tell me more about that club? Is it safe? Can I wear my Sunday best: sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt?
Frank T. Booker, New Albany
*This story is part of LEO Weekly’s Fake Issue.