Unable to Attend the Reunion, He Writes

BY JEAN TUCKER

That he eulogized his German professor
          with a mouth full of sugarless gum.

That he unearthed a rare fossil
          from his asparagus bed.

That he has cultivated double chins
          the better to play Bach’s Concerto for Two Violins.

That he can cook a red snapper whole
          and his wife will eat the head.

That his three children have founded new towns, each named after him.

That he has taken up metallurgy

the better to melt, smelt, and emboss

the coins for his kingdom.