Feral cats pawing their way through sleepy Walnut Street looking for mice might have to relocate. And Santa’s Depot just off Interstate 65 will have new competition in the award for Seasonal Weirdness.
For too long, the music market in Louisville Metro — 16th largest city, eat it Seattle! — has been as lopsided as that decrepit boat sinking slowly into the Ohio off the coast of Buckhead’s Grill.
In recent months, the Sunny Side is shining brighter, and not because of that radioactive Colgate clock. First, Jeffersonville opened a Bristol. Next, New Albanian Brewery underwent mitosis and opened a new restaurant on Bank Street.
Then it happened: An atonal buzz emanating from Mac’s Hideaway? Feedback. Trailers and vans making their way back from South by Southwest were so desperate for a show, they parked at La Rosita in New Albany to see if they could set up in the lot. “Our set’s only 45 minutes,” they told the owners. “We’ll be gone before the cops show up.”
“There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there is an ‘I’ in music and Indiana. They’re synonymous!” said Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan, crossing his thick, sausage-like fingers as an aura of suspicion clouded his chi. “They better not run against me.”
We suppose it’s a given: Earlier this year, Louisville promoters started booking Over There. The last straw was someone parking a Smart Car at Charles and Krieger in front of the Germantown establishment Nachbar. “There’s nowhere to park in Louisville anymore,” one customer complained.
This gentrifical force, as professors at Indiana University Southeast have coined it, has taken shape on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and various other social-networking sites, as legions of culturally starved Hoosiers took to the streets in protest of so-called bias they feel they’ve received and years of jokes from the Villains.
“They lost in the first round — we have The Crean (as in Tom) and The Coug (as in Mellancamp),” shouted Felice Starkweiler, a 32-year-old sleeved out in Puff the Magic Dragon (left arm) and Papa Smurf (right).
Kentucky officials dismissed Hoosierville’s bold initiatives. “Once the bridge tolls go up, we’ll suck them dry. They won’t even be able to afford cantaloupe at Harvest Homecoming!”
Organizers of the annual Senior Olympics in Jeffersonville plan to add dentures-only guitar solos to their list of medal-worthy categories for 2011.