All they need for Christmas

Dear Santa,

I thought I’d help with some gift suggestions in case the elves are baffled by what to get this crew. After all, we don’t know what to do with these people either.

Gov. Steve Beshear

Better taste in lieutenant governors

The current LG makes hateful comments behind his back. Judging from what many union members and police, fire and rescue workers say, his replacement choice will only lose him votes.

Kentucky General Assembly

A clue about how to save the horse industry in the absence of expanded gambling

Many of our politicians seem hell-bent on chasing the state’s signature industry away, and the alternative proposal the Senate floated was completely unrealistic. Yet nobody has a viable Plan B.

People of the commonwealth

The repeal of term limits for state auditor

Crit Luallen’s stellar work, which includes finding flagrant and widespread abuses of taxpayer dollars on lavish trips, meals, booze, gifts, strippers and escorts by directors at the Kentucky Association of Counties and top executives at Bluegrass Airport, should continue for the benefit of all hardworking state residents.

Children of Kentucky

Public charter schools

Legislation pre-filed in Frankfort would get local schoolchildren away from the stranglehold of the Jefferson County Teacher’s Union and the antics of JCPS. As for the rest of the state: Maybe Kentucky would move up a peg or two in the national rankings.

Political junkies throughout the commonwealth

A U.S. Senate race that’s not a snore

So far? No good.

Mayor Jerry Abramson


His pals at The Cordish Cos. will supply whatever he needs. Louisville may have to kick in some more forgivable loans, free land and exclusive development rights, but hey, we’ve done that before.

Metro Councilman and mayoral candidate Jim King

Ginkgo biloba and a conscience

When King was charged with violating campaign finance law for the massive contributions made to his daughter’s judicial campaign, he claimed ignorance. (Hard to believe, being that he’s a veteran politician who was warned about the contributions by the Registry of Election Finance.) King also tried to squelch the release of his 1980s divorce records, which contain allegations of domestic violence. Most recently, he claimed it was his campaign staff, not he, who used St. Xavier High School’s logo and mailing list to hit up alumni to attend a campaign fundraiser. Naturally, he didn’t have permission.

Metro Council & Metro’s Board of Zoning Adjustment

A backbone

Regardless of how many people a business employs, or how many kids play on soccer teams, when an entity breaks the law and expands or builds without proper approval, there need to be consequences.

Outgoing Metro Animal Services Director Gilles Meloche

A new job

Preferably one far away from Louisville, where the work is with inanimate objects and he has no employees, especially none of the female persuasion. What else do you give a proven liar who can’t run an agency responsibly and who sexually harasses his employees but maintains that he’s the victim?

Accused murderer Kenielle Finch (and select family members)

A small fan, batteries not included

They’ll need it in hell. Finch is on trial for hitting and killing two little girls while he was fleeing police. Last week, on a Facebook group called “Free Kenielle Finch,” a member who claimed to be Kenielle’s brother posted a message saying the families of Claudia and Riley “were just out for money,” and “they need to get over (their deaths).” He also said Kenielle, who’s got quite the lengthy criminal record, “did nothing wrong.”

University of Louisville

Actually, its present arrived early from Florida

Although it couldn’t hurt to raise the campus a few more feet above flood level. Get out the jack!

Karen Sypher

Might as well skip her, too

Her chance to get what she wanted disappeared a loooong time ago.

HullabaLOU concert weekend at Churchill Downs

U2 and Bruce Springsteen

This one’s really for me. And Santa, if it helps, I understand they’re both reindeer-friendly!